Page 201 of The Gods Veiling
“I got down to the bottom of her issue and why she was asking about dating.”
He closes his eyes and rubs his temples. “Would you just do us a favor and explain what happened when we stepped out?”
“I questioned her on why she was suddenly inquiring about romantic dating. It’s due to the fact living with us has caused her to become sexually frustrated. I offered my help, as well as any of yours, to alleviate that issue. It did nothing but cause a bigger dilemma.”
They each stare at me incredulously. As her Valtrue members, we should’ve noticed these signs sooner and have made her feel comfortable enough to say what it was she wanted.
“You did what?”
I cut my eyes to Creed. “You need to go to the healing villas and have your hearing checked. That’s the second time today you’ve asked someone to repeat themselves after they’ve spoken clearly.”
“It’s called shock, Amick. I was shocked by her asking us how we felt about her dating and I’m even more so by what you fucking said to her. What the hell were you thinking?”
“I was thinking our Binder is experiencing a lot of changes that she never wanted to experience. Many of which are completely out of our control. On top of that, her sexual needs aren’t being met, and she can’t have them met.”
Riven barks out a humorless laugh. “Why not? Because you said so? You don’t get to dictate that.”
“We, all five of us, have dictated it. Just now, the four of us made it clear to her we’re not okay with her engaging with other gods. She said that’s not even what she wants, but she now has the dilemma of choosing one of us. She made it clear to me, she won’t be doing that. Therefore, she won’t have her needs met. The three of you would be incapable of managing your jealousy if she were to ever do that and that would cause an irrevocable strain on our dynamic.”
“Oh, fuck you, Amick. Just because the three of us can actually experience emotions unlike you, doesn’t mean you’d just be okay with her being with one of us.”
My body heats at his insult. It’s usually easy to ignore Riven’s constant taunting, but the true anger in his eyes and malicious intent behind throwing my largest flaw in my face add to the discomfort I’ve been feeling since Thayla left.
“I may lack the ability to understand every single emotional response in others and myself, but that doesn’t mean I lack emotions completely. Nor do I lack the capacity to learn. I am learning. For her. I’d be able to control my jealousy. Do you know how?
“Because I have awareness of my shortcomings, even if I don’t broadcast that fact. Which also makes me more than mindful about the fact I’d never be able to meet all her needs. I know and can admit that I’d need one of you to also step in for her. That doesn’t matter, though, because I could never trust one of the three of you to do that for me. Now get the hell out of my office. I’m done with this discussion, and I actually have work to do.”
I stride behind my desk without bothering a glance at any of them. I blink my eyes repeatedly to get his words out of my head.
Sometimes the cruelty in Riven’s voice reminds me of our sperm donor’s. It’s taken me most of our lives to understand that his anger lashes out when he feels like someone is restricting him. We all react in our own ways because of things we experienced.
I believe they tend to forget, though, while they were around other beings, I was locked in a room with nothing but a torch lamp that didn’t talk back to me.
“Amick.”
“I don’t care for your mediation, Kyzen.”
“I know…but I need some clarity on what you just said.”
I sigh as I slowly lay my pen down and look at him. His smile is gone, and he’s shoved his hands in his pockets to hide his shakes. “What part would you like me to clarify?”
“You made it sound like you weren’t just talking about you being in a relationship with Thayla alone, but one of us being in a relationship with her as well. At the same time.”
I shake my head at the breath wasted. “You obviously didn’t need clarification.”
“I did and still do. I don’t understand how that would work.”
“Why do you need to understand? It doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter. She matters to me and so do you.”
“Then it’s incredibly simple. I’d have my own relationship with her, and you’d have yours. Where I’d lack meeting all her emotional needs, you’d make up for that.”
“But that makes it sound like she gets more from me in the relationship and that doesn’t seem fair to you.”
“I’d make up your shortcomings in return.”
“My shortcomings? What shortcomings do I have?”
