Page 75 of Gift from the Source
Leaving all of us sitting here in stunned silence, staring in two directions with countless question.
Nine
Caspian
You have not been looking, little Shadow God.
First of fucking all, I’m not a god. I may have a piece of that genetic puzzle running through my veins, but I am a Shadow Walker.
The best damned one in this realm.
Secondly, the infuriating creature’s words continue to blare through my mind like a fucking alarm. Who is he to say I haven’t been looking?
I’ve been looking for answers for years.
Years.
Not only since Willow arrived and everything started to fall into place, but for eighteen years.
I’ve been looking for answers for over half of my life.
Why did I get kidnapped?
Why did Silvia do what she did?
Who are the rebels?
How did Tillman command an entire force to kill themselves?
Why can’t my brother control his gift like the rest of us? Why does he feel like every death falls on his shoulders?
How did we have a brother that could shift into a dragon? Where did he comefrom?
Why have there been assassination attempts on my mother’s life? Has it always been what we called the rebels behind it?
Where did Uncle Orien go? Why did he die? Was he a spy? Who killed him?
What’s my Primary’s true gift?
Why does she have to almost become a martyr at every turn?
Who the fuck is the Summum-Master? And how do I kill him?
I could write a damn book with all the questions I’ve asked over the years. Some would have answers to them. Some are still as elusive as this tyrant trying to ruin our realm.
I’ve lost months’ worth of sleep, missed countless meals, lost myself to the darkness in pursuit of answers for my family.
I have looked.
My shadows swirl around me to calm my murderous rage. I’ve broken my rule once again and have entered my pocket dimension. Infecting it with my foul mood.
I need its solace, though. I need the comfort of silence.
The only being I can be mad at is the infuriatingly intelligent bird, but since he flew off with whatever magic flows through his blood, my Primary and brothers would’ve received the worst of my anger.
I refuse to do that to them.
They’ve been working just as hard as I have. All in different ways, but all equally important. Yet none of them are throwing an absolute fit, feeling like failures. I won’t allow my self-doubt to bleed all over them.
