Page 49 of Gift from the Source
“Home,” I murmur, turning my head to see my portal in the trunk still open, yet no one’s crossed back through. “Shit, they can’t come back across, can they? Why did you do this here?”
“No, they cannot. Right now, Elementra is only allowing one-way travel. Do you remember what you saw when you watched your mother step through the oak tree?”
“Of course I do. I’ll never forget it. The way she disappeared and Elementra made everything around her disappear from my sight so I couldn’t watch any longer.”
“She didn’t make everything disappear. The oak really did cease to exist when she stepped through. Its purpose had been served and Elementra released its ties between her and the nonmagical realm. Until it was time to make your tree,” he says slowly.
“What are you—Wait, so that means…” Reality hits me like a ton of bricks and I turn in a slow circle as my breathing quickens once again. “I’m going to step through, and my willow will be gone. Forever.”
That’s not the only thing my mind puts together. My thoughts race like a game of musical chairs and eventually, some of the pieces finds their seats.
“That’s why you had to show me here. The part of my memory that happened after you passed was tied to the tree, not my stone. It…shetied it to the tree. If I stepped through without watching, it would’ve been gone as well. Why would you give me the option to see that or not? You said, there is something Icanshow you. Why wouldn’t you just tell me there’s something important I needed to see?” I ask as I start to hyperventilate.
“A couple reasons, my girl. First, if you had chosen not to see, my passing would’ve eventually surfaced for you in a different way. You would’ve never told me or said anything, but I know deep inside, you would’ve been crushed to find out you didn’t watch our last moments together in the spot where it happened. In what was your most cherished spot. Then I would’ve informed you, you knew you’d be losing your memories.
“Second, and selfishly, I didn’t want you to have to relive the emotions you felt afterward, nor did I know if I really wanted to see how you reacted. I’ve never been allowed to know what transpired in the moments right after. Just now was the first time I’ve witnessed it, and I am so sorry, filia mea. I’m so sorry….”he says, taking a brief pause, then carrying on before I can bombard him with questions.
“Last, because you have memories of that day. Not the immediate minutes after, but after the Memoria stone was gone, you remember it all. They may be hazy due to the emotions you were feeling, and you’ve blocked some of the details out, but you remember. You wouldn’t have lost anything nor would your course have been altered dramatically by you not seeing it all here.
“There were pros and cons to bringing it up or keeping it from you. I’ve always hated keeping things from you, but in this case, I didn’t know which of my options would’ve been better. Ultimately, I decided the only choice that was truly mine to make, was to give you an option, let you decide if you wanted to see or not.”
A war wages inside of me, and I squeeze my eyes shut. After experiencing what I have inside of the amplifier room, I never thought in a million years I’d be mentally begging for the feeling of the Shadow Light stone. What I wouldn’t give right now, though, for the clarity that comes from it after so many negative and positive things have come tolight at one time.
“Go home, filia mea. There, I’ll answer the rest of your questions, and you’ll find the comfort and balance you need. There’s nothing left for you here,”he whispers.
For a moment, I fear he’s about to leave me, but his presence stays strong across my mind. I latch onto it as I battle with the gut-wrenching knowledge that this is the last time I will see my willow tree.
Except there’s an exact replica waiting for me at home.
“Is my bag and blanket in there or in the south wing?” I ask as I peer down where our dimension would be, but instead, is being covered by the portal.
“The dimension has always led to the south wing. It’ll be there waiting for you, my girl.”
The coils around my chest loosen slightly and although he can’t see me, I nod appreciatively. Then I take a deep breath, swallowing down the mourning of rewatching his last day and the end of what feels like a huge chapter in my life.
Aside from returning to reopen the portals, there’s nothing for me in the nonmagical realm anymore.
“Time to go home,” I murmur to my tree, letting the thin branch and vine of leaves run through my fingers as it unravels from around me.
Without my memories, I never would’ve guessed this tree was magical. Odd, out of place, and didn’t belong, yes. But powerful? An extension of our creator that I’d been cut off from? No.
Now it’s obvious that it’s been sentient this whole time. Her way of watching me. Protecting, providing, and being a silent companion through my darkest days.
Just to prove my point, the branch pokes me in my back, pushing me toward the portal, and a small, watery laugh escapes me. The subtle heat pulsing off the swirling rainbow engulfs me. It seemed to have been waiting for my permission before pulling me into its orbit. Once its warmth sinks into my skin, though, the chill from the last however long escapes me.
I breathe one last goodbye and step through my passage home.
To my men. My family.
All who I’m sure are waiting on the other side, ready to kill someone.
Nothing could’ve prepared me for the sensation of being cocooned by a mixture of my power and Elementra’s. It isn’t darkness that greets me but an abundance of color just like the land is painted in. It’s breathtaking, freeing, and feels so right. There’s no dizziness or unsettledness that I’ve experienced from transporting. It’s purely peaceful.
I wonder if that’s been a sign from my body that it was craving to wander a little farther and I was cutting it off too soon.
As time slows—at least that’s what it feels like is happening—a thin veil of the same swirling rainbow appears in front of me. It beckons my body forward, and even if it wasn’t visible, I’d know that’s my exit.
An echoing gasp falls from my lips as I step halfway out, then freeze. The familiar scene in front of me has my throat closing and I lift my hand to my mouth as I slowly free the rest of my body from the portal.
