Page 8 of Gift from the Source
It’s all the same.
Aside from the looming, evil presence that no longer lives here.
He lives nowhere.
Stepping closer to the wall, I glide my fingers across the smooth surface, just as my mom did. My hand follows the same path she took as we take silent steps. Oakly and Aria don’t say a word, just cautiously watch me, following along supportively as we pass door after door.
A whisper of apprehension passes through me as my footsteps slow and my arm trembles slightly as I raise my palm. The cold wood that hides my childhood bedroom sends a chill through my hand. If I turn that knob, I honestly don’t know what I’ll see. I haven’t stepped foot in there in eight years.
Breathe.
Do it.
The loud squeak of the door as I shove it open covers my harsh exhale.
A bittersweet feeling rushes through me as I stare at the bare room. I already knew my clothes and knickknacks would be gone. They came with me in the forced move, but there were two things I truly cared to see.
And they’re both gone.
The bed where I hid under the covers far too late into the night reading when I should’ve been sleeping hasn’t even been replaced. It’s just empty space.
The window in the far corner of the room that gives me a perfect view of the path I’d take to my tree looks plain without my desk underneath it. I used to stay up way too late as well, writing my adventures with CC in my secret infinity journal at that desk.
Both are now just memories in my mind and the room sits as hollow as I used to feel living under this roof.
Standing in the center of the room, the past that I watched barrels through my mind and I tilt my head up to the ceiling.
“I was always protected in this room. He never stepped foot in here. I’m pretty sure that was because of you, Momma. He could sense the love you left behind in here before you destroyed the rest of his house.”
I close my eyes for a fleeting second.
Then I turn and walk out of my childhood bedroom, knowing I’ll really never step foot in there again.
I spare Oakly and Aria a small reassuring smile, nodding for them to continue down the hall.
I never glance back.
As we move closer to the end of the hall, each step is deliberate and grounded. The fear that would be ever present, skirting down my spine, is absent as I turn the corner. The familiar dark ebony double doors come into view.
The sturdy wood shines as though it’s recently been polished to clean perfection like it’s still being used daily.
I can’t help but wonder to myself if it’s because my mom easily kicked Franklin’s original office door in that he added a second one when he rebuilt it. I’d like to believe he did that as a sense of some added protection.
Even though I know he’d never admit it in his miserable life, I hope and pray a smidge of fear withered through his body when he returned here to see the devastation she left in her wake when she escaped the first time.
This threshold used to seem like a forbidden, impenetrable barrier. One that when I was summoned to enter would have my knees shaking so violently, I could barely hold myself up.
Now, as my hand touches the brass doorknobs, the cold metal no longer makes me flinch.
Surprisingly, with a gentle turn and push, the double doors fly open, revealing the office where my torture began.
Commanding my air element out, I sling all the windows in the room open as the overwhelming smell of his cologne hits me and I choke back the gag attempting to crawl up my throat. I give my element a moment tocirculate the dreadful stench, then with a fresher, cleaner deep breath, I take my first step inside.
The room’s smaller than I remembered, or maybe I painted it out to be a monstrous dungeon. Regardless, now that it’s stripped of the power it once held over me, it’s just an over luxurious home office, built for a man unworthy of this wealth and privilege.
The walls still whisper of old fears, but the echoes no longer reach me. I can see clearly now that it was designed to intimidate any who walked in here. Including a defenseless child who was just desperate to be loved.
“Fuck, let’s get this over with.” Aria’s broken whisper draws my attention, and I glance over to see her eyes clouded over.
