Page 1 of Gift from the Source
One
Willow
My willow tree.
The last time I saw it, the moon was casting a glow on the cascading branches and shiny leaves. The unforgiving winter air added stiffness to my already tense muscles and broken body.
I was escaping my own personal hell.
Now the sun rises with a warmth that’s making sweat bead on my forehead. It adds to the fever of my confusion.
I’m far from the same woman I was when I last sat beneath its protection. Bleeding, battered, and weighing the decision of following a stranger blindly, who claimed I wasn’t meant to be here.
Just the same as then, its presence fills me with a sense of unconditional love, home, and happiness. The tugging in my chest that I now know for certain is my bond with CC ignites like it always has.
For the first time in my life, it doesn’t bring me the comfort it did in my past.
What I once believed to be a random tree planted in a clearing surrounded by old oak trees is anything but random. The purpose it served glares at me as I stare at it in horrified surprise.
It obviously doesn’t belong here.
Neither do I.
This isn’t our home.
One belief—thought—I’ve always had still proves to be true.
Fuck me, I’m so tired of being confused every time I walk into these woods.
My men right my first unsteady step toward the haven I know on a soul level.
My Nexus.
Their hands are calm as mine tremble. They hide their shock internally, while my face screams horrified.
We never passed through a ward but a whole realm.
Déjà vu overwhelms me when I take a green silverish leaf between my fingers and roll the familiar texture around. My ritual, my routine, every time I approach it. It’s always been my way of saying hello.
I can almost swear to you, there are permanent knee impressions in the earth from where I’ve lowered myself here to sit on my heels so many times.
Countless times.
The memories of those occurrences flood me as I take the position now.
My shaky fingers skim the smooth yellowish-brown bark, and like a movie, I play my most treasured moments here across my mind.
The last day I was beneath my tree, I knew good things had happened to me here. I just couldn’t remember them.
I remember now.
I give myself over to the moment and bask in the familiarity. The fun adventures CC created for me, the time I spent reading, learning, and practicing underneath the cover of protection from my tree. The love he showered me with in here.
This spot, created by Elementra, shaped by him for us to enjoy together. Then it became my safe haven once he was no longer here.
I treasure these moments and always will, but one thing is for certain.
We don’t belong here.
