Page 26 of Innocent Union
“Of course, you’d think that,” Gemma says, nudging Cecilia. “Little Miss Goody-two-shoes.”
“I am not,” she responds.
“She’s definitely not,” I say with a little too much sass.
They all look at me.
Cecilia crosses her arms. “What do you mean by that?”
“Nothing. I’m going to change.”
“No. Tell me.”
I sigh, shrugging. “It’s just … most goody-two-shoes don’t run off with their bodyguards. I didn’t expect you to be into the whole classic wedding thing since you didn’t really have a conventional wedding yourself.”
“Mia,” Mom warns.
“No. She needs to hear this.” I take in a deep breath. “I’m tired of you always acting like there’s nothing wrong between us. You’re always dismissing me, saying that I shouldn’t blame you. But I’m frustrated, Cecilia. I feel like you’re a hypocrite. You expect me to follow the rules when you didn’t. You’re arguably the most rebellious of us all.”
“When have I expected you to follow the rules?” she demands.
“When you told me I should listen to Mom about Killian! Why is everyone acting like it’s a huge problem we’re getting married? Killian is a nice person.”
“That you’ve seen so far,” Mom says.
“Ugh. Mom, you know Killian is nice. He helped Antonio when Antonio had no one. I figured you’d love him because of that.”
Mom goes quiet.
I turn back to Cecilia, still on my venting rampage. “I’m just tired. Why does everyone else get their happy ending? Find love? But I’m not worthy of that?”
“Do you feel like you’re not worthy?” Cecilia asks.
“Yes! No man wanted me. I’m sure Killian pities me. That’s why he’s agreed to marry me. But he did agree. And he’s better than the other men. So, I’m taking it. Running with it. Killian and I are getting married. And I just want to find a dress I like, then move on. Can we all agree to that?”
“Sure,” Gemma says right away.
Mom sighs and nods. “All right. You make a good point. I’m not happy about this, but … as long as this wedding squashes any rumors about you and Cecilia, then … I’ll try to be happy.”
Cecilia takes a moment before answering. “I never knew you felt that way about me. I knew you were frustrated how my actions affected you, but I never knew you thought of me as a hypocrite. I’m trying, Mia. I’m trying.”
Some of the tension in my body releases. “I know,” I admit. “And I know not everything was your fault. You just wanted your own happy ending. I’m just … not ready to move on yet.”
“When you do, I’ll be here,” she offers.
I hurry back to the dressing room, my face on fire and my eyes burning with unshed tears. Why can’t I let it go? Why can’t I just be happy for Cecilia and focus on my upcoming marriage to Killian?
I think it’s because deep down I know Killian is only marrying me for political power and not because he likes me. He told me I was cute, but I don’t believe him. No man has ever thought I was cute. All the suitors my mom and Antonio found for me acted as if I were gum on the bottom of their shoes.
When it came to Cecilia and Theo, it was obvious Theo loved Cecilia. He fought tooth and nail to protect her from the old man she was expected to marry. I doubt Killian would do anything like that for me because … why would he? No one ever has before.
No one except my father.
One time, when I was eight, my father stood up for me. My family loved to take trips to Cony Island. It was the one thing we could count on to do together as a group.
While my older siblings were off on the rides, I stayed back because I was terrified, and my dad offered to get me an ice cream.
I loved being the center of his attention. He was either caught up in work or spending time with my siblings. But having his focus on me, even for a few minutes, meant the world to me.
