Page 55 of Quiet Rage
“So hot,” he growls, moving his hips, working with me. “Do you know how hot you are? How perfect?”
I don’t know about that. I only know this feels so good. This perfect little bubble we’ve created, our own world. There’s nothing but us, but this moment, with the tension building in my core again and his groans getting deeper, sharper with every slow stroke I take.
His hands run up my back and pull me down for another kiss. I go gladly, gasping when he takes hold of my hips to move me. I’m so close, and so is he, jerking his hips from below, bringing me down hard and fast in these last wild, breathless moments.
I lift my head far enough to look down at him, eyes locked. “Come with me,” I whisper before shattering again, shaking and whimpering. It’s so good. Too good. I’m barely aware of him lifting me by the hips before heat splashes my inner thighs. His long, satisfied sigh makes my swollen lips stir in a smile. I made him feel good.
He eases me onto my side and gets up, going to the bathroom for a wet washcloth, which he uses to slowly, gently clean me. I don’t know what’s better: his careful strokes with the cloth or the look of concentration on his face when I pry my eyes open to watch him. Like he takes his job seriously. Why can’t he be like this all the time? I could fall in love with him.
Even the danger of a thought like that doesn’t matter when he crawls back into bed and draws me into the warmth of his embrace. “What brought that on?” he asks, his breath stirring my hair before he presses his lips to the top of my head.
“I wanted to try something new. You know, for science,” I joke.
“Oh? That’s all it was? An experiment?”
Pulling my head back, I grin at him. “I didn’t hear you complaining.”
“Hey. Don’t let me stop you from your research,” he murmurs. There’s a twinkle in his eye I love to see. “Shit, if that’s how much fun science always is, I should change my major.”
We both laugh softly, wrapped around each other, kissing and teasing. This might be the best part of all. These soft, sweet moments afterward.
At least, until his phone buzzes on the nightstand, where he left it last night. The sigh he releases makes his chest rise and fallunder my cheek, and my heart sinks when he reaches for the phone. So much for our bubble. It was nice while it lasted.
“Shit. I’d better go.” He drops his phone on the bed before covering his eyes with his arm. I hear the regret in his voice. I wish he didn’t have to feel it, even if it’s sort of nice knowing he would rather stay here.
“Can’t you pretend you didn’t get whatever message that was?”
He chuckles softly, lifting his arm, wrapping it around me instead. “Here we go, pretending again.”
Sometimes I hate how connected the world is all the time. Back in the day, people could just disappear for a little while if they wanted to. Now, there’s no excuse.
Just a few more minutes. Squeezing my eyes closed, I pay close attention to everything about him. The feeling of his skin, the sound of his heartbeat. I need to live in this moment as long as I can because right now, things are perfect. Scary, but perfect.
“Listen. I have to tell you something.”
So much for that. It’s not what he says, but the way he sounds. Like whatever is coming next will make me unhappy, and he wishes he didn’t have to say it.
Still locked in his arms, I tip my head to look up at him. He’s staring at the ceiling, jaw tight. “Your father owes mine a lot of money and he is ordering me to make your life hell until it’s paid. We’re coming back tomorrow night. Back here,” he explains. “We’re supposed to. That’s the order Dad passed down. But I’m going to make sure it doesn’t have to happen.”
“How can you do that?” I’m almost afraid to ask. Afraid of what the answer might be. He’s not going to, like, kill somebody… ishe? I don’t know why my mind went there. Maybe it’s because I get the feeling there’s a whole bunch of things about him that might hurt to hear.
“I’m going to give your dad the money. I’m going to wipe his debt clean.”
My head pops up while I gasp. “That’s a lot of money, isn’t it? I mean, he never talked about a total,” I muse, “but it has to be a lot.”
“I know exactly how much it is, and this is the decision I made. It’s the only way.” His hand cups the back of my head, fingers massaging my scalp. It’s so soothing, and I want so badly to close my eyes and sink deep into the pleasure of his touch.
This could mean the end of Dad’s trouble. No more beatings, no more threats.
I just wish I could believe completely. That I could trust fully.
And I hate that I can’t. It’s not fair to feel this torn. But this is a little more important than making up stories and acting like we’re in a real relationship. I can’t pretend my way out of this.
I can’t pretend Kellen hasn’t let me down in the past.
“Do you believe me?” He searches my face for the answer he needs to hear, and I want to give it to him. More than anything. I also want my heart to be in it.
I’ll pretend this one more time, because it’s what I need to do. “Yes.”
