Page 54 of Quiet Rage
“All day,” I confirm. As long as it makes her happy, I’ll listen to whatever she wants to.
It’s scary how much that matters to me now. Her happiness has become important to me. The feeling of caring about someone like this is foreign to me, but I crave more of it.
We talk like this for a long time. She tells me more about her brother, about her childhood, all her favorite things, her fear of spiders, and her dream of visiting Italy one day.
I tell her about the few fond memories I had from my childhood, and how I’ve been friends with the guys since middle school. I talk about the crazy parties Carter used to throw and how he is dating his stepsister now.
Our conversation goes on for most of the night. We cover everything from music to ice cream flavors. I memorize every little detail, soaking in everything she is willing to share.
I’m not sure what time it is, but my eyes are heavy, and Tamson hasn’t said anything in a few minutes. I’m fairly certain she is asleep, and I know I should do the same, but I don’t want this night to end. I want to stay in this bubble we have created.
I fight sleep for another few minutes, and when I finally let darkness take hold of me, it’s with the hope that tomorrow morning she’ll still be in my arms.
Chapter 24
Tamson
I thinkI could get used to this pretending stuff.
It’s dangerous. Don’t go too far.I squeeze my eyes shut, forcing those thoughts far away after waking up in Kellen’s strong arms.Not now. Let me have this for now.I don’t think it’s too much to ask, lying here in Kellen’s arms, pretending we started off differently than we did. Tricking myself into believing we’re a normal couple.
The memory of us brainstorming over made-up scenarios makes me smile. He is such a different person when it’s just the two of us. He’s funny, sweet, creative, thoughtful. He could make some girl an ideal boyfriend.
It’s just a shame that girl can’t be me.
I hate that I have to think that now, when all I want is to marinate in the warmth and satisfaction. Maybe it makes me greedy. Maybe I deserve a little greediness after missing out on so much. I mean, life can’t always be grim and bleak, right? I deserve this. I deserve to feel good.
And I want to keep feeling good. My heart flutters when an idea slips into my thoughts like smoke sneaking beneath a door. How would I start? He’ll probably laugh at me. I’ll be clumsy, won’t I? Awkward. What if he wouldn’t want to do it?
I guess there’s only one way to find out. I know how good I can feel when we’re together like this. I want that now. I want to feel everything.
He’s on his back, making it easy for me to slowly get up and kneel above him. “What are you doing?” he asks with a sleepy grin, rubbing his eyes and yawning. Funny, but I’ll never get tired of watching him do ordinary things like that.
Instead of answering in words, I throw a leg over him until I’m kneeling with his hips between my knees. I slept in nothing but my panties last night—neither of us bothered getting dressed again after our massages. Is this really me, sitting on top of this man, letting him look hungrily at my body before his hands start sliding up my legs?
Of course, because I am the girl in those stories we made up yesterday. This is my boyfriend. We had a meet-cute and everything. And now, with a smile playing over his lips, he murmurs, “I love looking at you like this. Do you have any idea how beautiful your body is?”
How would I? He’s the first person who ever said that to me. The body he likes so much goes warm not only because of his touch but out of pleasure and maybe a little bit of pride. “What else do you like doing with my body?” I ask, slowly leaning down and letting my hair brush against his chest and shoulders. His eyes are endless, full of mysteries I would love to solve. The more I learn about him, the more I want to know. The more time I spend with him, the more time I crave.
He lets me take the lead, kissing him slowly, lips lingering against his before I poke out the tip of my tongue to run over the seam. His deep, rumbling groan and growing dick pressing against my ass tell me I’m doing a good job. I don’t have to worry about being rejected.
This is how it could be all the time. Kissing slowly, feeling the heat build. My skin tingling under his touch. Moaning softly into his mouth when he peels my panties away, giggling as we awkwardly try to get me out of them.
He’s chuckling by the time he tosses them to the floor, then brushes my hair out of my face before kissing me again, deeper now. Making the fantasy real with every sweep of his tongue, every caress.
I can’t help but go with what my body wants, and pretty soon he’s harder than ever, pressing against me through his underwear while I slowly roll my hips and grind against him. “You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?” he whispers, sitting up, pulling me tight against him.
“I would rather keep you alive,” I whisper back, wrapping my arms around his shoulders while he cups my boobs in his hands, lifting them to his waiting lips so he can suck and lick. It’s pure bliss, and he is so, so good at working my body like it’s an instrument made just for him.
“Inside me,” I moan, letting my head fall back, savoring every touch of his lips to my chest, my throat, until he finally has to take me by the back of my head to bring my mouth to his.
My body is on fire. I’m dripping wet when his hand finds me. The slightest touch and I’m shaking, weak, grinding hard, moaning into his mouth. His heart pounds against mine, and he holds metight against him with his free arm while strumming my clit with the other. “Oh, yeah,” he grunts when I break the kiss. His breath is so hot, but it makes me shiver when it hits my skin. “Make yourself feel good. Get ready for my cock.”
It’s his words that take me over the edge, making me whimper and shudder before I fall apart. He holds me through it all, his soft kisses bringing me back to reality once the first blinding rush of pleasure slowly fades.
When I open my eyes, he’s smiling, stroking my hair. I tilt my hips to line him up with me once he pulls himself free of his shorts. “Let me watch you,” he whispers, sucking in a quick breath when I take him inside and begin to slowly lower myself on him.
He lies back, hands folded behind his head, and the nerves that almost held me back are nowhere to be found now. My needs are louder than any nerves, and they make it possible for me to move, riding him slowly, running my hands over his chest and his abs. Indulging in him. Indulging myself.
