Page 51 of Leave Before I Love You
Justin’s brow furrows.
“What is he doing?” Beau questions, stepping closer. I turn to him quickly, praying to all that’s holy to keep him from drawing more attention to this.
“Nothing,” I say quickly. “He’s doing absolutely nothing. Right, Justin?”
Justin looks up at me, confused. “Avery?”
“Justin,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady. “Now is not the time. Seriously. Get up.”
Reluctantly, he stands, his face a mix of hurt and confusion. “I…I just wanted to—”
“Don’t,” I interrupt, putting a hand on his arm and then gentling my voice as much as I can manage. “We’ll talk later, okay?”
Justin nods slowly, stepping back, and I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
I glance frantically to Henry, and for the first time since we’ve arrived, thank God for the blonde clinging to his every word and distracting him.
I don’t want to go back. To the heat and the hunger and the uncertainty.
But I can’t avoid that some thingsweresimpler.
Better, even.
On the island, I didn’t need an excuse to keep Henry to myself.
Henry
“I thought I lost you,” Ashley cries, her voice cracking. She grips me like she’s afraid I’ll disappear again, and I fight every instinct in my muscles to do just that. The contact is awkward and forced on my end, but the guilt of feeling that way is enough to keep my arms awkwardly around her.
“I’m okay,” I murmur, but I’ll be the first to admit, the words are empty. They’re a comfort to a fellow human being, and no more.
For thirteen days, Ashley didn’t even cross my mind. Not when I was fishing for our next meal. Not when Avery and I were laughing under the stars. Not when we were tangled together, finding comfort we didn’t know we needed.
And I know right now, as I can’t help but search for Avery over the top of Ashley’s head, that’s never going to change.
It might make me the biggest asshole on the planet, but as soon as I find an appropriately private moment, I have to cut Ashley loose. It’s a little cruel—but not nearly as bad as making her think there’s something here to hold on to when, to me, there isn’t.
“You scared me so much,” Ashely whispers, pulling back to look at me. Her mascara is streaked, and her eyes are red and puffy. She’s beautiful, despite the despair, but she’s not Avery.
Not even close.
“I’m sorry,” I manage, though it’s not enough, and it probablynever will be. Whether I like it or not, at the end of today, I will be the villain in Ashley’s story.
I own that.
“Man, look at you.” Ronnie shakes his head, grinning, before giving my shoulder a hearty pat. I welcome the distance it makes Ashley give me, if temporarily. “You’re, like, actually alive.”
“Right?” Maverick smirks. “It feels like a fucking miracle. Thought we’d be telling your story on a podcast by now…maybe even get a Netflix doc out of it.”
“You two with a podcast?” I snort, my lips twitching upward despite the weight on my chest. “Really?”
“Hey, it’s the age of content,” Ronnie says, shrugging. “Might as well capitalize.”
“Hell yeah,” Mav chimes in. “Plus, Ronnie has that Theo Von vibe, you know? The wild shit that comes out of his mouth would be sound-bite heaven.”
I laugh. “Well, sorry I’ve ruined your big ticket to fame.”
“It’s okay,” Maverick says, clapping me on the shoulder. “I think I’d rather have you here than be catapulted into the spotlight and make millions of dollars and shit.”
