Page 94 of Leave Before I Love You
Henry steps into my condo, and I close the door behind him, my hand trembling as I turn the lock. His beard is neat, his tan evening out beautifully, and his sweet blue eyes are bright with worry, looking every bit like the man who has completely consumed my thoughts for weeks now. His hands fist at his sides as he works to be calm for me, his hair just a little bit tousled from the frantic state I no doubt left him in by not showing up at his apartment at the agreed-upon time, and God…it’s all too much.
I feel like I’m going to break apart.
“Avery,” he says tenderly, taking a step toward me. His voice is gentle and soothing, but his unwavering patience only makes my heart race faster. I did this to him, and it all started the night I wouldn’t take no for an answer. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”
I shake my head, stepping back, wrapping my arms around my body as if I can hold myself together if I squeeze tight enough. But bone and flesh don’t shatter like glass, and my arms aren’t glue. This problem is much bigger than that.
“You shouldn’t be here,” I whisper. My voice cracks, and I hate it. It’s the opposite of everything I’ve prided myself on being for my entire life and unsurprisingly uncomfortable. Wearing someone else’s shoes is always tough when they aren’t the size you’re used to. “I…I can’t do this right now.”
“Can’t do what?” He takes another step forward, his hands reaching for me but stopping short when I jump startle, like he’s afraid I’ll bolt. “Avery, please. It’s me. Remember? The one person in the world who’s seen you at your most vulnerable and you the same for me. You can tell me anything, and not only that, if it’s got you this worried, you should. How else am I going to help?”
Tears blur my vision, and I press my hands to my face, trying to stop them, but it’s useless. The weight of everything is crashing down on me.
I’m pregnant.
I’m in love with him.
And I’m terrified that telling him the truth will ruin everything.
“Avery,” he says again, his voice firmer now. He closes the space between us, his hands gently pulling mine away from my face. “Look at me. Please, just look at me.”
I do, and the concern etched into his features is my undoing. My breath hitches, and a sob escapes before I can stop it. I am raw and unfolded in front of him, just like I’ve been several times before.
I am fighting for my life, but this time, in an entirely different way. Whereas the island felt like the two of us against the world, this feels like the world and me against Henry.
“Hey, hey,” he murmurs, pulling me into his arms. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
His words only make me cry harder because they’re both exactly what I need to hear and exactly what I’m afraid I don’t deserve.
He strokes my hair, his voice steady and calm. “Ave, focus. I need you to focus for the next ninety seconds, just like you did for me before we hit the water. Tell me whatever it is, and then tread as fast and hard as you need to to stay afloat while I do the rest. I’ve got you. Don’t you know I’ve got you?”
I pull back slightly, just enough to look up at him. His hands stay on my arms, grounding me, and I take a shaky breath. “Henry, I…I don’t even know where to start.”
“Start anywhere,” he says softly. “Just start.”
I look into his eyes, and the love I see there makes my chest ache.
He loves me. I know he does. And he deserves someone who isn’t afraid to shoot it fucking straight. He deserves to have the chance to freak out himself, and there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell he’ll do that if I’m still backsliding down Menty B Mountain.
I look into his eyes and steady my breathing, but he dives in before I can.Sweet Henry, always taking care of me.
“I love you,” he says. “I want to be with you. That’s what tonight was all about—me telling you what I should’ve said before we left the fucking island. There isn’t one thing you could say to me right now to change my mind either.”
The words hit me like a tidal wave, and my breath catches in my throat. He steps closer, his hands moving to cup my face, his thumbs brushing away the tears on my cheeks.
“Henry…” A sob escapes my lips, and I shake my head, tears streaming freely now. “I love you too, so much. More than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything, my designer collection included.” I admit my truth through shaky breaths. “But that’s the whole freaking problem. Because for as much as I love you, I’m about to have to love something more. And if you’re not ready or not—” I shake my head, cutting off my ramble. “I’ll understand, okay?”
He searches my face, his lips parting in preparation to console me again, but I don’t torture him with more blind placations.
Instead, I tell him the truth, and I do it with a steel rod in my spine. In this moment, I am strong, just in case he can’t be.
“I’m pregnant.”
Henry
Avery’s words hang in the air like a fragile thread, the fear in her eyes presenting as misty, unshed tears. She’s afraid how I’ll react, obviously, but I’m not scared of anything.
Not as of one second ago. Not anymore.
