Page 109 of Before I Say I Don't
Hands flew to mouths, and people doubled over in giggles.
Diane’s face twisted in fury, fighting to stay composed.
“Let’s hear the sentencing,” I said, ready to get it over with.
“Throw the book at her, Judge Danica!” someone playfully suggested.
Danica had her bouquet gripped like a gavel and face set in mock solemnity, but her eyes glinted with real fire.
“The court finds the defendant guilty of bougie delusions, guilty of thinking Pottery Barn parenting raises kings, and guilty of fake pearls and faker morals.” Danica gave a dramatic pause, then delivered the line like a final blow. “Sentence: death by reputation collapse. You will forever walk into rooms and be met with whispers, rolled eyes, and empty seats next to you! No parole! No appeals! Bailiffs, get her out of my sight!”
A loud “Lord!” came from somebody’s granny.
I had cracked smiles at the other “sentences,” but I didn’t reallylaughat any of them—that one was different. That one was Danicaallthe way through. She meant every single word, and I knew it. If that had been arealtrial, in arealcourtroom, with her in a black robe instead of a champagne dress? Danica would’ve handed that woman the death penalty without blinking. And judging by the crowd’s reaction, they would have cheered the verdict.
Security swooped in fast, two guards flanking Diane on each side.
She shouted, kicked, and her pearls rattled at her throat as they lifted her half off the ground.
“Don’t touch me! Don’t you dare put your hands on me!”
Viangelo shoved against his own guards, voice cracking. “Don’t touch my mama! Get your damn hands off her!”
But the guards didn’t budge. They hauled Diane straight down the aisle like she was a defendant being dragged out of a real courtroom, her heels scraping against the runner.
And me? I stood there in the center, mic still in hand, calm as ever, while laughter rolled over me and myalmost-mother-in-law got escorted out in disgrace.
“Actually,” I called out, halting them mid-step. The room quieted, curious. “Let her stay. She deserves front-row seats to the circus she helped create. After all…” my gaze cut to Viangelo, “she raised the main act.”
The guards glanced at me, then released her. Diane straightened her dress with shaky hands, stomping back to her seat.
I steadied the mic, letting the room quiet just enough for my voice to slice through.
I whispered into the mic, calm and final, ‘Last case on today’s docket. And you know what they say…” I smiled slowly. “…save the best for last.”
The crowd stirred, leaning forward like they already knew what was coming.
“Kamira vs. Viangelo: The Case of the Almost Husband, Always a Joke—with sidepieces as witnesses and child support as co-counsel.”
The whole room gasped and hollered at once… even the organist fumbled her keys.
I turned and faced Viangelo directly—the man who had once been my everything.
“Viangelo, you stand accused of more than broken vows. Charge One: fraudulent fiancé—posing as a husband-to-be while living as a community boyfriend. Charge Two: infidelity in the first, second,andthird degree—because you didn’t just cheat once, you made it a lifestyle. Charge Three: conspiracy to embarrass the bride publicly through lies, baby mamas,and sidepieces—a premeditated act with reckless disregard for dignity. And Charge Four: emotional embezzlement—stealing love, trust, and time you never earned. Lastly, draining me of a year and a half that I can’t get back. How do you plead?”
The room went still. All eyes were pinned to him.
Viangelo clenched his jaw, chest rising and falling fast. He didn’t say a word. His silence filled the space, heavier than any confession.
“That’s a guilty face if I ever saw one.”
“Not even a defense? Whew.”
Marcus shook his head, loud enough for half the room to hear. Another associate beside him murmured in agreement right before our boss nudged them both sharply in their sides, his eyes wide like,don’t y’all dare get us dragged into this.
I tilted my head. “Not guilty by silence, huh? Let the record reflect that the defendant refuses to answer. Which, in this courtroom, counts as an admission.”
Danica chimed in. “The silence of the defendant will be noted as guilty onallcharges.”
