Page 37 of Headstrong Cowboy
“You know I grew up in foster care, right?”He waited for her to acknowledge him.When she nodded, he continued.“For the first six years of my life, I lived with my mother.I don’t know who my dad was, and I don’t really need to know.I only have vague memories of my mom, but from what I can remember, she wasn’t happy.She fed and clothed me, but I’m not sure she actually loved me.I got off the school bus one day and when I got to my house, there were police cars in the driveway.They saw me and an officer came up and stopped me from entering the house.”Ryder paused.He’d never talked about that day, not even to Chip, and that man had encouraged him to talk through things.He just hadn’t wanted to—until now.“My mom found life was unbearable for her.I’ll never really know why, but that day, she ended her pain and left me alone.I was placed into the system and bounced around from foster home to foster home.I would get settled and then, for whatever reason, I would have to move again.This happened for years.”
“Oh Ryder, I’m so sorry.”
Her fingers squeezed his, giving him the courage to go on.“When I was nine, I was in my third home for the year and I got angry at something another kid did.I couldn’t tell you what they’d done, but I think everything inside of me had built to a point where it exploded out of me, and I pushed the kid down so hard, he hit his head on the ground.He was okay, but he was knocked out for a bit.That was the first time I was sent to a boys home.I was there a while before I went to another house, but by then, anger was my default emotion, so I didn’t last long anywhere.In the end, I was sent out to a ranch in Texas, a place where troubled boys were sent.”He closed his eyes as the memory of the smell of horses and cows hit him for the first time.“I loved it the minute I arrived.The kid who’d come with me threw up at the smell associated with a ranch, but for me, it was like I’d come home.Like I was always meant to be on a ranch.Anyway, I settled down and found other ways to deal with my anger until I’d worked it all out and accepted who I was.I guess you could say I forgave my mom for doing what she did.”
“How old were you when that happened?”
“I think about twelve.”
“That’s really young to have that sort of epiphany.”Chrissy’s voice was gentle and, as he’d been watching her throughout his monologue, he hadn’t seen any change in her demeanor toward him.
“I guess, but when there’s nothing to do but school, chores, and to think...when you look at the sky and see the millions of bright stars and know that you are just a tiny blip in the universe, you tend to come to realizations pretty quickly that being angry doesn’t achieve anything.I do also have to say that Chip, the guy who owned the ranch, always said things that made me think.He never lectured...he counseled and guided.Some kids listened, others didn’t.I listened, and the person I am today is because of him and his ranch.”
Chrissy moved closer and laid her head against his chest.He put his arm around her and rested his cheek on the top of her head.“Thank you for telling me.Chip sounds like a great man.Do you still keep in touch with him?”
“Sadly, he died in a farming accident when I was twenty.I skipped two rodeos to come back for his funeral.I spent the next couple of months sleeping in the back of my truck and eating the cheapest ramen I could find until I had another win.It was worth it to be able to say goodbye to him.”
“I’m so sorry.He sounds like a good man.What happened to the ranch?Did he still have kids there?”
It didn’t surprise Ryder that Chrissy asked about the kids because she was that type of person—caring.He was damn lucky that she was standing in his arms.“He was.A very good one.”He stroked his hand up and down her back, enjoying having her so close to him.“I’m not sure what happened to the kids, but his nephew took over the ranch.I hope he kept Chip’s legacy going, but I can’t be sure.The responsibility is huge.I was pretty bad, but there were a couple of kids who were worse than me.Chip’s patience with them was saintly.I don’t know how he did it.”
“Definitely sounds like a one-of-a-kind man.”
“Yep, and I wish there were more like him.”
They didn’t say anything for a few moments, swaying gently to the beat of the distance music.Telling Chrissy about his past hadn’t been as hard as he thought it would be.Maybe it was because it was her, and she was easy to talk to.Easy to be with.
He deliberately didn’t think about his mother’s family connection to the area and the land Chrissy’s family’s farm stood on.Tonight was about them.A moment in time when nothing else mattered but the two of them.
“Do you want to get out of here?”he whispered against her hair.
“I do.”
Together they left their secluded spot, and Ryder made it a point to avoid as many people as he could on the way to the Graff, which was hard, considering the crowd, but he achieved it.When they arrived at the hotel, he stopped and looked down at Chrissy.He was about to ask her a question, and if she said no, he’d escort her home, but he hoped she’d say yes.
“Do you want to come up to my room?”
Her hand landed on his chest, and he was sure she could feel the way his heart was thumping in anticipation of what her answer would be.“I’d love to.”
Chapter Nineteen
The elevator rideto Ryder’s floor seemed to take forever, but it was only a matter of seconds before the doors slid open.Chrissy’s body buzzed with desire, and it had been hard to keep her hands to herself on the short journey.She knew that if she did anything like kiss him, she wouldn’t be able to stop.
The second Ryder closed the door to his suite, she pushed him against it and found his lips.His hands cupped her ass, bringing her flush against his hard body, the evidence of his desire not hard to miss.
She wrenched her mouth away from his, her fingers busy on the buttons of his shirt.“God, I want you so badly.”
Chrissy didn’t care if she sounded desperate—she was.Ever since the kiss they’d shared at the table, she’d wanted nothing more than to feel his body slide inside of hers.The chemistry had been building and building between them, leading up to this moment.
“I want you too, but—” He grabbed her hands and pressed them against his hard chest.Her fingers dipped between the gap she’d created and stroked back and forth.
“But what?”she asked when he didn’t continue.
“I don’t want our first time together to be up against the door.”He ran a hand over her head, sliding his fingers into her hair.“I want to savor you.Worship you until you can’t think about anything but you and me.”
Chrissy shivered at the mental image he was creating.“I want all of that too.Want to know what makes you sigh.What makes you shudder with pleasure.”
Never before had she been so bold as to state what she wanted to do.Somehow, being with Ryder gave her the courage to be that way instead of being a quiet participant.
