Page 64 of New Beginnings At Pencarrow Bay
Then he said, ‘Listen, I’m sorry I’ve been such a pain, Mum. As you can see, I’m not at my best just now. But I don’t want to fall out with Ted, wind you both up.’
Peggy reached out and laid a hand on her son’s arm. ‘None of us are at our best, I’m afraid. Things have been so crazy. If you’d come even a month ago, you’d have found us in a much happier state.’ The memory of that time, so recent, made her wince.Will we ever get back that peace of mind?Or were things changed for ever? ‘I hope all the current dramas haven’t put you off coming here in the future,’ she added nervously.
Liam took her hand and cradled it in his own. ‘I’m justglad I’ve had a chance to be with you, see you properly ensconced in your new life. The house was in such chaos when Dan and I visited last time.’
Peggy pulled a wry face. ‘Now the house is fine, and it’s my life that’s in chaos.’
Her son gave her a sympathetic glance, didn’t comment.
The part of her that wasn’t wrenched by her son’s departure felt a small shaft of relief that Liam wouldn’t be contributing to the tension in the house with his feisty interventions.Maybe Ted will calm down when we have the place to ourselves again, she thought.
She stood up in front of her son, still on the bed. ‘I can’t thank you enough for all you did on the hacking front, sweetheart. But I’m worried about you. About your job, about Nisha…’
Liam also got to his feet and pulled her into a hug. ‘I’ll be just fine,’ he replied soothingly. ‘I’ll find another job, Nisha and I will get back together… and probably split up again. Same old, same old.’ He chuckled. His face fell as he looked down at Peggy, a troubled frown on his brow. ‘Willyoube all right, though, Mum? Your problems seem way more complex than mine.’
Peggy was touched by his concern and tried to swallow the lump forming in her throat. ‘Oh, goodness, don’t fret about me. Things will sort themselves out soon enough, I’m sure.’ She thought she was putting on a good show, but Liam’s look was sceptical.
‘It’s me you’re talking to, Mum.’
She shrugged, looked away and did not reply, suddenly overcome with emotion. Her son was on her side, one hundred per cent. Could she, hand on heart, say that about Tedat the moment? She shook herself. ‘You’ll stay for movie night?’ she asked brightly.
‘Umm, sure, okay. Should be fun. I can go early Saturday.’
Peggy left her son to deal with the barrage– his word– of WhatsApp messages from Nisha. They agreed to meet on the quay around twelve and take the ferry over to Falmouth for lunch. She wanted to make the most of the time remaining in her son’s company, but she didn’t fancy sitting in one of the village hostelries and bumping into someone who might bring up the emails– or not bring them up, in an obviously shifty way.
She was in the kitchen, putting the sheets on to wash– the housework, never her favourite task, had been somewhat neglected recently– when her mobile buzzed in her shorts pocket. She dragged it out, hoping it was Ted. He hadn’t come home since his trip to check on the council road works and she wondered where he was.Quentin.
I’ve just remembered something. Drop by at the Dairy when you have a moment. Back hell today, not venturing out xxx
Intrigued, she texted in reply:11.30? x
When Quentin agreed, she went to tell Liam, then got her things together and walked down to the village. She texted Ted that she was leaving Bolt at the house, assuming he would come and pick him up once the car park was clear. The dog would be fine for a couple of hours, he’d just doze in the sunshine– he hated the ferry, whined pathetically the whole way across.
The bay looked spectacular that morning, a deep blue sky reflected in a calm sea that undulated gently with the waves, the boats that filled the bay– swung round withthe retreating tide– lazily swaying on their moorings. Peggy stopped at one of her favourite sections of stone wall along the harbour road, just short of the gallery and other shops, and leaned on the rough, curved surface, staring out towards the horizon. This was one of her favourite spots and she sighed with pleasure, momentarily forgetting the steady stream of tourists at her back, making their leisurely way up and down the length of the village in the sunshine. A seagull– still young, judging from its tan and white checked feathers and brown beak, the majestic white and grey of the adult bird a long way off– was standing just along the wall, also staring out to sea. It looked so forlorn, and Peggy wondered if it had been abandoned or had just lost its mother.
Know how you feel. Suddenly it all came flooding back and the tormenting misery and insecurity she remembered when her own mother walked out assailed her. She jolted against the sea wall. It was a physical thing, an actual tightness, a knot squeezing her heart. Despite what her brother had told her teenage self– that she had to ‘get used to it’ because her mother wasn’t coming back– she’d still waited, still hoped. Hadn’t got used to it at all.
Every time the phone rang, Peggy had rushed to pick it up, convinced it would be her. She invented rigid routines– walking a particular way to school or wearing a particular jumper, like the red one with frilly cuffs her mum had bought her. Or she’d eat her Jaffa Cake in a specific way, licking the chocolate off first, then carefully lifting the orange jelly circle and sucking it on her tongue, before breaking the cake into four and eating the separate pieces. Sometimes the jelly tore as she lifted it, which reduced herto tears, because she believed with every bone in her body that if she did all these things exactly right, her mother would walk through the door. In the end, Peggy persuaded herself that her mother was dead– it was easier, somehow. Even fifty years on, she still didn’t understand how Celia could have abandoned her and Tom with such apparently cavalier indifference.
Now Peggy tried to breathe, tried to ease the pain. And gradually, as the restorative sea air of the bay filled her chest and the summer sun warmed her body, the knot around her heart began to loosen. She knew the reason she’d suddenly been catapulted into the past. She would oftenthinkabout her childhood, but seldom, these days,feelit with such aching intensity. It wasn’t only the trauma of the emails, the rows with Ted, her concern about establishing herself in the new environment of the village that had brought it on. Liam’s visit had focused her attention on her own mothering: she was being asked, almost daily, to choose between her son and her partner– to take sides. The confluence of all these things had left her fragile and insecure, reminding her of how she had felt when she was an abandoned child. Right now, all she longed for was to feel Ted’s strong arms around her.
Peggy was just pulling herself off the wall, taking a few deeper breaths to calm her pounding heart, when she heard a voice behind her. Turning, she saw Lindy springing towards her through the crowds on her elegant cream trainers.
Breathless, she came to a halt in front of Peggy. ‘Goodness, Peggy, I’ve had quite the morning. But I’m getting there. Tell Ted his reputation is safe once more.’She beamed at Peggy. ‘I’m actually quite proud of myself. The reviews won’t be up till tomorrow or later, but I’ve corralled at least fifteen people to give Henri and Ted five stars.’
Peggy frowned in puzzlement. She had no idea what Lindy was on about. ‘Reviews?’ she repeated stupidly.
Lindy stared at her, raising an eyebrow in surprise. ‘You don’t know?’
‘Sorry, know about what?’
‘The trolling of Henri? On Tripadvisor?’ When Peggy still didn’t react, Lindy went on, ‘A few nasty notices suddenly appeared, all posted on the same day.’ She cocked her head, a small frown on her brow. ‘Ted didn’t tell you? I must admit, he was in a bit of a state at breakfast. I was quite worried, to be honest.’
Lindy’s gaze showed genuine concern at Peggy’s confusion and discomfort.
They had breakfast together?‘I haven’t seen him much this morning,’ Peggy mumbled, knowing she was flushing with indignation and embarrassment.
‘And the emails are now common knowledge all over the village, he said. That’s bloody unfair,’ Lindy went on sympathetically.
