Page 39 of The Affair
Connie made it to St Pancras in a feverish haze, holding on by her fingernails until she’d said goodbye to all her passengers and seen them off on their various journeys home. By now she barely knew who they were, their faces swimming in and out of her vision in a baffling way over which she seemed to have no control. She prayed she wasn’t saying weird or stupid things. But apart from one of her clients who said in farewell, ‘You should get that chest seen to, Connie,’ no one had seemed to notice that anything was wrong.
Scheduled to stay the night in London, because the Eurostar got in too late for the connection home, she only had to make it to the hotel in Great Russell Streetand then she could sleep. Sometimes she overnighted with Caitlin when she returned from a trip and couldn’t get back, but she had a meeting with her boss the following morning in the hotel – just a yearly catch-up – so it was easier this way.I’ll be fine tomorrow, she thought.I just need a good night’s rest.
The next thing Connie was aware of was waking up in the bath in her hotel room. She was shivering, her skin blue and mottled, the water long since gone cold. But when she tried to pull herself up, her limbs wouldn’t obey and she thudded back hard on her bottom, chilly water sloshing up and over the side.What’s happening to me?she wondered dizzily. Taking a deep breath, she tried again, but her arms were like string cheese and she failed to get any purchase. She began to panic, her heart thumping double speed in her chest. But the adrenalin gave her dazed brain a window of clarity.Must get warm and dry…
Galvanized, she heaved herself head first over the side of the tub, crawling forward until first her torso, then her legs slid onto the bathmat. For a moment she lay there, the effort rendering her wheezy and breathless. She just wanted to stay where she was and sleep. But she knew she couldn’t.Get up, she urged herself.Get up, Connie, you must get up.
Using every ounce of strength left to her, she pushed herself onto her knees, managing to grab the lip of the basin. Muscles screaming, she heaved, flopped back. Tried again. On the third go, she found herself wobbling but upright.
Snatching the large white towel from the rail, shehuddled in the folds, feebly rubbing herself dry as best she could before staggering unsteadily through to the bedroom. With shaky hands, she put on all the clothes she must have stripped off earlier – although she had no recollection of doing so – including her jacket. Throwing herself onto the bed, she rolled the duvet round her until there was nothing free but the top half of her head. Then she lay there and shivered until she began to feel the warmth seeping back into her body.
But with the warmth came fever. One minute she thought she might die of cold, the next she was burning up.Think, she exhorted her pitching brain.Think. Do something.But what she should do was not clear.Phone… The word came and went. She knew it was important, really important, but the thought kept slipping away, like soap in the bath, before she had a chance to catch it. She gave up and closed her eyes again.
The next time she opened them and tried to focus, someone was sitting on her bed, a hand on her forehead. She shook it off, irritated by the intrusion.
‘Connie … Connie, wake up …’
The voice was familiar and sounded urgent. She wished it would go away.
‘Connie…’ Now hands were shaking her gently, pulling off the duvet, opening the buttons of her jacket. The weight on the mattress was temporarily absent, then a blessed coolness was being pressed to her forehead. She forced her eyes open. Jared, his face pale with concern, was staring down at her, holding the hotel flannel to her brow.
‘What …?’ Some part of her brain told her he shouldn’t be there, but she was so pleased that he was. She untangled her hand from the duvet and took his free one, comforted by the feel of his fingers closing round hers.
‘You rang me.’
She considered this information through the haze, then said, ‘Are you sure? I wouldn’t have done that.’
A small smile crossed his face. ‘I’ve called a doctor.’
The word ‘doctor’ rang alarm bells. She struggled to pull herself into a sitting position, banging her head on the padded headboard as she did so, trying to make sense of what was happening.
Jared laid the flannel on the bedside table. ‘You really gave me a scare,’ he said. ‘You were incoherent on the phone. Couldn’t even tell me where you were.’ He stroked her damp hair back from her forehead. ‘I was getting to the stage where I thought I’d have to call the police, but suddenly you said the hotel name as clear as a bell.’ He let out a long breath. ‘Lucky I wasn’t out of the country.’
She nodded, although her head throbbed so much she wished he would be quiet.
‘Reception came up and opened the door for me when I explained that I thought you were ill.’
She was aware of a loud knock on the door. Jared rose from the bed to answer it and a man appeared, dark stubble on his chin, rumpled and middle-aged, carrying a doctor’s bag.
‘You’re her husband?’ the man asked Jared, in anaccent Connie could not place. She saw Jared nod, but was too dazed to correct him.
‘What time is it?’ she suddenly wanted to know. Something was odd about all this, her brain still not really comprehending how she’d got to be fully dressed in a hotel bed, with Jared and a strange doctor in attendance.
‘Three in the morning,’ the doctor replied patiently.
When Connie woke next, early-morning light was streaming through the uncurtained hotel window.Where the hell am I?she asked herself. She was no longer fully dressed but had on her night T-shirt. Jared was lying asleep beside her in his blue cotton shirt and boxers. The sleep must have done her some good, because her mind seemed clearer as she blinked in the bright sunlight, although her head was heavy when she tried to lift it from the pillow, and she began coughing as soon as she moved.
The cough subsided, leaving her breathless. She lay there, attempting to piece together the events of the previous night. The bath, her icy body, the panic, the doctor … Jared.Did I call him?She had no memory of it, but how else could he have been present in her room? Realizing she needed to pee, she gingerly pulled herself upright, swung her legs over the mattress and tried to stand. She felt dizzy and weak, though, and sat there, waiting for it to pass.
‘Morning.’ Jared’s voice was sleepy.
Connie turned. Her feelings were mixed as shelooked down at his crumpled form. Gratitude for her rescue was overlaid by the knowledge that he really shouldn’t be there.Why didn’t I ring Devan or Caty?she asked herself, bewildered.
He sat up, rubbing the sleep from his face with both hands. ‘How are you feeling?’
‘Not as bad as last night.’
Jared yawned and got out of bed, coming round to her side and standing over her, placing his hands on either side of her head and gently raising her face until she was looking at him. ‘You scared me to death, Connie.’ He bent and dropped a kiss on her forehead.
