Page 31 of I Found You
Right?
Maybe somewhere in the back of my mind, I started to get ideas. But those were the thoughts you didn’t even realize youwere having, the ones you couldn’t control until they got to the front of your brain, where you could squish them down and send them back to where they came from.
After Jane’s nighttime routine was finished, I laid her in her bassinet for bed. She was starting to outgrow it already. I watched her sleep, her chest rising and falling, her cherub lips pouting. I leaned over her, giving her a kiss on her head, inhaling the sweet baby scent of her. I had a meeting scheduled with Kara next week. I would have to find out if she had any update on the timeframe of this arrangement. It was strange. Our first few meetings, that was the main point of conversation. But our last two meetings, I hadn’t wanted to bring it up, afraid that if I opened that box, something bad would come out of it. Someone would come to tell me that Jane’s family had been found and they wanted her back. Originally, that was exactly what I wanted to happen. And I still did, for Jane’s sake. But I just didn’t go asking about it anymore.
We had gotten into a routine, Jane and I. Or really Jane, Wyatt, and I.
Thinking about Wyatt saying that I wasn’t his type made a lump form in my throat. He wasn’t laughing at his brother like the idea was ludicrous. I’d had that reaction plenty of times. Probably tied with the number of times guys had told me I wasn’t their usual type but that they would make an exception. But Wyatt, he just said it like it was a fact, maybe even a sad fact.
No, Maeve. Not a sad fact. What does that even mean? He just doesn’t like you.
I shook my head to clear the jumble of thoughts. Tears wanted to fall, but I knew it wasn’t because of Wyatt. Notspecifically. It was just loneliness, something I should be used to by now. And mostly, I was. But every once in a while, it crept up on me and threatened to take me down. I gave myself fifteen minutes to feel sad while I showered and got myself ready for bed. Then, the pity party was over.
* * *
The knock on the front door startled me as I was doing the dishes. Usually, I could hear Wyatt’s truck pull up. He’d texted me last night, just to check in, because he was a genuinely good guy, but I hadn’t expected him to come by today after our conversation last night. I replayed it in my head as I went to the door, Jane strapped to my chest in her favorite front carrier.
Wyatt: Hey, are you ok?
Wyatt: Are we ok?
Me: Yeah. I’m good. Sorry I left like that. It was really rude. Can you let your dad know that I’m sorry too?
Wyatt: Two sorrys from you when I’m the one that feels like the asshole. That’s just not right.
Me: You have nothing to feel bad about, Wyatt. I get it. I just need a little space, I think.
Wyatt: But you’re sure we’re good?
Me: Yes, I promise.
Wyatt: Have a good night, Maeve.
I didn’t think I’d ever hated my name so much as when I read it in his voice, where the word “doll” used to be. He was trying not to lead me on, putting distance between us. Iunderstood that. Heck, I was doing the same thing by asking for a little space. But that didn’t mean I had to like it.
My jaw hit the floor, and my knees felt like they were suddenly made of jelly when I opened the front door.
“She wouldn’t let me call first,” my brother said by way of greeting. He shifted his weight back and forth between his legs. His eyes were pleading with me not to be angry with him.
Standing next to him was a ghost from my past. The woman I hadn’t seen in seven years, and even that visit was a fly-by just to steal some money and my refurbished laptop. She looked good, but that didn’t mean much. Josie Silva knew how to use her looks and her charms to get away with just about anything and everything. Her brown hair looked to be her natural color, not dyed blonde like it was when I was young, and her eyes shined bright without red blood vessels marring the whites around her irises.
“Hi, honey,” my mother said. Her following gasp could be heard down the street. “Oh my God, she’s so beautiful.” Her hand came out like she thought she could touch Jane. I threw my arm around her and hugged her closer to my chest as I turned my body away from Josie. She pulled her hand back like she could feel the same fire I felt flowing through my blood.
“Don’t touch her.” Turning my attention to Jackson, I asked, “What is she doing here?”
“Honey, I just wanted to see—”
“Don’t,” I cut her off. Hearing her voice was already undoing the years of hard work I put into myself. Again, I shot my attention to Jackson.
“She said that she’s clean now,” he shrugged. “That she wantsto get to know us again or some shit like that.”
“No. I will not allow this woman back into our lives. Jackson, come inside.” I held the door open wider for him, ready to protect him from her. To get him away from her.
“Maeve,” he started.
“Jackson.” We stared each other down while I willed him to please get in the house.
The moment Jackson took his first step toward the open door was the first moment I could breathe. He walked into the house and shot an apologetic look to Josie over his shoulder.
