Page 71 of I Found You
“You are amazing, Maeve. I have no idea how you could have grown up to be so caring and selfless. Lord knows you didn’t get that from me or your father. I don’t think I have had the chance to thank you yet. I don’t even know how. But Jackson is the luckiest guy in the world to have you in his corner. Everything you had to sacrifice for him. It never should have been your responsibility, but I look at what you’ve built for yourself, and all I can think is, ‘Thank God I left before I destroyed her beyond repair.’”
A voice startled us from across the patio. “Not possible. Mae doesn’t let anything keep her down.” Jackson stood by the sliding glass door with a beer can in his hand. “It’s actually water. It just looks like beer,” he stated as if he could read my mind, showing me the can before he placed it on the table. His rough hands grabbed mine as he hauled me to my feet. He was filling out, looking more and more like a grown man every day. I leaned into his chest, and his arms wrapped around me for just a moment. After releasing me, he hauled Josie to her feet as well.
“I expected to find a couple bottles of wine littering the lawn after that scene,” Jackson stated.
The back of my hand connected with his bicep as I swatted him. “Yeah, we’re not really doing the alcohol thing with Josie, remember?”
“Am I back to Josie already?” At my perplexed look, Josie grinned sadly. “You called me Mom. I know, it was just a slip of the tongue. I won’t read too much into it.”
“It’ll still take some time. I can’t just pretend that everything is cool between us now. But I think it’s a good start.”
Josie nodded quickly, brushing the last of her tears off her cheeks before rushing us and wrapping her arms around both me and Jackson in a big bear hug. “Sorry, I just really wanted to do that.”
She stepped back, laughing lightly. Jackson looked petrified, like he didn’t know what to make of any of this. His face was priceless, and I couldn’t help but laugh as well. It felt good, cathartic even, to get past some of the history that had threatened my self-esteem for so many years.
My thoughts turned to Jane. How was she doing in her new home? Were they taking good care of her? Was she getting enough belly time? It was important to her development. “I miss Jane so much.”
I didn’t realize I had said the words out loud until Josie reached for my hand and Jackson put his hand on my shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. “I know,” he said. “I liked that little thing. She was good for you, and you were good for her. Same with him.” Jackson gave me a side-eye glance. I hadn’t told Jackson that Wyatt and I broke up. At this point, Wyatt could have told him anything, spun the story however he wanted to. Making me the bad guy because I was obligated to let go of someone I loved with all my heart. I didn’t mean to get so attached. I knew from the beginning that she wasn’t mine to keep. It was my own fault.
“I don’t want to talk about him.”
Jackson didn’t hesitate, or ask any questions, or try to push me. Honestly, he was probably happy to not talk about my love life with his boss. He kicked one of the chairs toward me with a slight head nod to encourage me to sit, so Idid. Josie took the other seat, back to the same places we started this evening however long ago. Jackson sat directly on the floor and started picking the paint that Wyatt and Reid hadn’t had a chance to scrape off. I guess it was staying this way until I could hire someone else to fix it up. Or maybe I would DIY it. Deep in thought about home renovation projects, I wasn’t prepared for Jackson’s next words.
“I’m thinking about going back to school to finish my diploma.”
My jaw clenched as I tried to hold back a squeal. “That’s great, Jackson. What made you change your mind?” I asked, very impressed with my ability to sound supportive but not overwhelmingly excited.
“I thought you said we weren’t talking about him.” He winced as he looked up at me from the floor.
“Well, I think it’s a great idea… Obviously, since I’ve been trying to convince you to go back since the moment you left. And I’m grateful for any motivation he provided you.” My voice was steady, even if my hands had started sweating. Thinking about Wyatt being a positive influence on my brother, convincing him to get his life on track, made my eyes start filling with tears.
“After I finish my diploma, I’m going to enroll in a program to get an auto tech certificate—no. No way. You are not allowed to cry over this. It’s just a diploma. It’s not a big deal. If you’re going to be weird about it, I won’t do it.” Jackson threw his hands up, giving me his most threatening little brother look.
“Of course you will. You have plans now. Not even an overly excited sister is going to get in your way. Watch out, world, here comes Jackson Silva.” I gestured wildly with my handslike he was headlining a Broadway show.
“Yeah, whatever. I am going to ask…” He paused and looked up at me. “… him if I can apprentice with him officially.”
My heart sank at his words. “Jackson. I don’t want you to get your hopes up. I know he… Wyatt… has been good to you. And I really am so grateful to him. But Jackson, we broke up, and I don’t know if he’s going to let you hang around as much. I’m so sorry. I know how much working with him has meant to you. And please don’t let this impact your plans.”
“He’s not like that, Mae. You know that. I don’t know what happened between you two, and it’s none of my business. He’s been miserable all week, but he never once took it out on me. Maybe he was a little short or snappy, but he was like that with his brother too, so I don’t take it personally.”
“I know it’s not my place to say, but I’m really proud of you, Jackson. Regardless of how it all plays out, you’ll have learned a trade that you can make a real living with,” Josie said, breaking the silence that fell.
“Okay, well, this love fest is getting too much for me. I just stopped by to tell you about my plans, Mae. Now you’ve been told, and I’ve picked you both up off the floor and dried your tears. If you want to start at it again, do it after I’m gone.”
I stood at the same time as him and wrapped him in a hug. “Love you. Congratulations.”
“Love you, Mae. Mom,” he said as he stepped in to give her a small side hug.
“What was he like growing up?” Josie asked after Jackson had left.
We spent the rest of the evening talking about Jackson, about his childhood and our relationship now. We talked about how hard it was to get through college while keeping aroof over our heads. I didn’t hold anything back, but I didn’t make it a point to make her feel bad either. She was clearly struggling with her own demons, then and now. Making her feel worse about what was a very difficult time in her life wasn’t going to change my childhood or my choices. And I would choose Jackson all over again. Every time.
Instead, we laughed about him getting stuck in a tree when he was only four feet off the ground but was too scared to let go of the branch he was clinging to. And the time I almost brought him to the emergency room, thinking he was going to die of the world’s highest fever when, in reality, he’d tried to use a lamp to increase the temperature of the thermometer. That one was on me.
Talking about young Jackson brought me back to Jane again. I missed her desperately. Would Kara allow a visit? Just so I could say bye with a little more time. Maybe I could even invite Wyatt. It would be massively uncomfortable, but it would be worth it for him to be able to say goodbye to her like he wanted to. As much as I knew that I had no choice in the way it all played out, I did feel terrible that Wyatt was denied the opportunity to see her before she was placed with her family. He had been so good to her. Some people might think that he was the epitome of sexiness just by looking at him, but those people never saw him cradle a crying infant in his arms and talk softly to her while he tried to get her to calm down. No one else knew that side of him, the softness, the tenderness, and I knew that I would never be able to get those images out of my head. As much as they pained me right now, they were special and real. What we had was special and real. And now I missed him desperately too.
My house used to be my sanctuary away from the mayhemof high school, and when it was invaded by a surprise baby and her own personal bodyguard, I thought it was going to be miserable, noisy, messy, and chaotic. And it was all of those things. And I would give anything to have every moment of that noisy, messy chaos again.
