Page 75 of Cozy Prisons
Working hard on making her expression pleasantly neutral, she reluctantly raised her eyes to meet his. Despite the lack of facial expression on his Talin face, she got the sense he was confused.
“Why would you think I could help Hale?”
That was an easy answer. “Because you were able to help me.”
Daxus was silent for a moment before sounding a quiet, negative rattle. “I didn’t do anything to help. If anything, I made you worse.”
“That’s not true!” Nataly denied vehemently. “Without you I wouldn’t have been able to go outside. I was getting a lot worse before you and everyone staged the musical. You don’t know how much I needed you back.”
“If I hadn’t acted with false superiority, our separation wouldn’t have happened,” he countered.
She tried to grin. “But it was such a great reconciliation.” The thoughts of the musical made it impossible to keep the tears back. “That was the most romantic thing anyone’s ever done for me. Except I guess it wasn’t romantic. I should say it was the kindest thing!”
Daxus sounded a loud, confused rumble. “If it was romantic, kind, and you liked it, why is water leaking from your eyes? Why are you talking about Hale? Help me understand!"
Reaching up, she wiped off the two tears that escaped. “I’m sorry, I’m doing this all wrong. I’m trying to explain that you’re free.”
“Free? Free of what?”
Another tear escaped. “Of me.”
Daxus sounded a loud, negative rattle. “I don’t want to be free of you!”
Nataly blinked. “You don’t?”
“Why would I want that? I’ve never been as happy in my life as I am with you. Nothing has given me more satisfaction than spending time with you. Even when we’re doing simple tasks, I experience more joy than during my entire childhood. By the ancestors, why would I want to be free of that?”
Hope flared in Nataly's chest. “But you didn’t start hanging out with me until I fainted that first time.”
“That was the opening for me to be allowed to stay close to you,” he said. “I’d been looking for an excuse to spend time with you long before that. I asked Riff almost every rotation if she had any bots for me to take to you.”
“Really?”
“I noticed you the day I arrived. You came down with everyone else to meet the ship. It was early morning, and you looked sleepy, but happy. You had a mug of tea in your hand and yourhair was mussed, as if you’d only just rolled out of your nest. I wanted to pick you up right then and snuggle you to my chest. I wanted to hold you and rumble until you fell back asleep. I’d never had that impulse with any other human. Not the humans I traveled with, not the other humans here on Arise, no one.”
She wanted it all to be true. “I thought you felt responsible, nothing more.”
“I feel responsible and so much more! As I learned about you, I went from interested to intrigued. Your intelligence, steadfastness, and humor all made me want to be near you. Except you didn’t seem equally interested in me. Whenever I tried to have a conversation with you, there was suddenly something important you needed to do. I worried that I’d never get to spend time alone with you.”
“I was embarrassed," she admitted. “You’re so handsome, I would get flustered when you talked to me. I ran off because I was scared I’d say something stupid.”
He moved his other hand so both of hers were covered by his much larger ones.
“I never want to be free of you, Nataly. It’s been nearly impossible to keep from rubbing my scent glands on you. They ache constantly. I told myself I needed to let you decide the pace, that I shouldn’t do anything to make you feel pushed or pressured.” He sounded a frustrated rattle. “In trying to do that, I went too far to the other extreme, and you didn’t know how I felt.”
“That you like me?” Nataly suggested.
“That I want to be with you as much as I want my next breath of air.”
A nervous chuckle escaped. “That’s a lot.”
Daxus hunched his back to put his face closer to hers. “Do you feel the same?”
“I do,” she whispered. The scent of sweet lemon candy was almost overwhelming. “After we fought, I kept one of the pillows you used in a bag to try to keep the scent. Sometimes, when I was feeling like I wanted to rip out of my skin, I’d pull the pillow out and bury my face in it. I’d breathe you in and I’d feel better. I felt like an addict."
“I spent our entire separation standing outside your domicile, watching your door,” he told her. “I didn’t sleep or eat, I was afraid I’d miss even a glimpse of you. When Decard, Cassius, and Kiran suggested the play, I didn’t even consider refusing. If nothing else, I’d get to see you and know you saw me.”
“What if I hadn’t forgiven you?” she asked, feeling a little shaky with relief and happiness.
