Page 1 of Cozy Prisons
Chapter 1
Nataly
Even though the domicile door was wide open and Nataly could see that there was no danger lurking outside, she couldn’t make herself take that first step. Looking down, she stared at where the toes of her shoes were lined up with the threshold.
“Move,” she ordered them.
Predictably, nothing happened because her body didn’t want to listen to her anymore. Back when she and her friends lived in the slums of Dandilow II, fear never stopped her. She faced every day without hesitation, even knowing it could be her last. Even after they were robbed and barely had anything left to their names, Nataly was able to function.
Even though they were all living on a safe planet far away from Dandilow II, she was struggling. It was easy to ignore the twinges of unease at first, but now she had a hard time leaving her domicile by herself.
“This is ridiculous," she grumbled. “It’s bright daylight, I can see the place I want to go. There is a clear path between me and there. Why can't I simply walk there?”
Everything in her body was telling her to step back and let her domicile door slide shut. Behind her was safe, out there wasn’t.
“That’s not true,” she sighed.
Was she insane for talking to her body like it was a separate person? Probably. But didcrazyexist if no one else was around to witness it? She decided no, it didn’t!
She focused on a pile of rocks off to the side of the groomed footpath between her and the next domicile over.
“How about we walk to that pile of rocks?” she offered her fear. Her body didn’t like it, but she managed to take a little-bitty step over the threshold. Then another slower, but almost normal-sized step further!
The door slid shut behind her, giving her a little adrenaline spike.
“Don’t turn around,” she ordered herself. She couldn’t stop herself from taking a small step back, but she didn’t walk backward through the door that had slid back open.
“Progress,” she breathed. Focusing on the pile of rocks, she imagined herself taking one step. Then another step. She mentally mapped out every footfall until it was almost like she’d already made the journey. That made it easier. Step by agonizing step, she reached her first goal.
Her sense of relief was almost overwhelming when she found herself staring down at gray, jagged rocks.
That feeling disappeared the moment she looked up from the rough, gray stones and saw how much further she had to go. The large doors of the communal building were wide open and she could see people inside. Today was little Maeve’s birthday party. Individual domiciles formed an oblong ring around the communal building and hers happened to be the furthestaway. She’d picked that domicile because it was closest to the electronics storage shed, but now she realized it had been a mistake.
Not that any of the distances in their little colony were far, but their gathering structure might as well have been on the far side of the planet.
Tears of frustration welled up in her eyes. Closing her right hand into a tight fist, she brought it down on her thigh with enough force to hurt. The hurt helped clear some of the anxiety, so she did it again. And again.
“You will work, you dumb legs!” she cursed.
Looking up she picked another area a few strides away. She stomped to the spot, then she looked ahead and chose a crack in the path as her next waypoint. When her legs wouldn’t move again, she started pummeling them, alternating between left and right.
The front of one thigh would probably be covered in bruises tomorrow, but the sharp ache was helping. Strangely, the pain dried up her tears.
She was over halfway to the communal building when punching herself stopped working.
The most frustrating part was that she knew all these issues would go away the moment she was inside the building. Well, maybe not all of them. Lately even being indoors wasn’t guaranteed to make her feel better, only being inside her domicile made her feel calm.
As bad as this was, what happened when she got to the point that even being inside her little haven stopped giving her peace?
It didn’t bear thinking about.
She tried to focus on another spot to walk to, but wasn’t able. She was breathing too fast and couldn’t get it under control. This was bad. The next step would be dizziness, and she’d have to sit down until the episode was over, or she’d pass out.
She didn’t want the second option to happen. Last time she’d woken up with a lump on the back of her head. Maybe she’d been strong enough for today.
Yes, she decided she had. It was time to go home and rest before trying again.
Decision made, she turned to run back. Before she could take a step, the world tilted and the ground rushed up to meet her.
