Page 15 of When It Reins
I nod my head, following them out. Jax joins us outside the arena, smiling like a proud mom, and I have to refrain from rolling my eyes. “I’m so proud of you both.”
“You know, you’re much more annoying now that you found happiness,” I grumble, moving past him to talk to Logan.
“You mean charming, adorable, cheerful? That’s what happens when you take a leap of faith for love.”
His words hit the mark he was intending to, and I glare at him.
“Leave him alone, Jax,” Logan says, shaking his head at him. “I swear, you’re trying to get him to hit you.”
“I don’t hit easy targets,” I reply, leaning against the stalls and watching Logan untack his horse.
Logan chuckles, and I watch him and Jax banter back and forth. The barn is a bustle of activity at the other end of it. Thereare two or three people cleaning and mucking stalls, and another just led a horse into the arena for exercise.
I was feeling…slightly jealous at the way everyone here seems to so smoothly fit in. I am jealous, because deep down, I want to be a part of all of it.
But on the surface of things, I’m not ready to admit that.
I’m not ready to admit a lot of things—if I ever do.
“You should come back tomorrow. I’ve got a feral little sorrel that I could use your help with.” Logan’s statement shocks me, and I stand a little straighter, wondering if I am going to be a coward and claim I am busy, or if I am going to actually take the offer.
“I have some—” I break off when I see Logan pause his movements, and even though he isn’t looking at me, I have a feeling he is bracing himself for disappointment.
Is this what I want? Do I want to disappoint my family all the time? Or am I going to man up and face them?
“Okay,” I answer, then scratch the back of my neck. “I can come in the morning before going to the bar.”
Logan’s body visibly relaxes, and I feel like a jerk. He already has his doubts about me, and those were my doing. I put those thoughts in his head.
Now, it is my job to try to erase them.
9
juniper
My weekendaway was exactly what I needed.
David and I talked about anything and everything, keeping the weekend casual and fun without any seriousness between us. Part of me was hoping he would bring up his timeline, but I didn’t want to ruin the weekend by putting pressure on our situation.
Now that I am home, I am in serious need of groceries.
I used to share an apartment with Annmarie, but last month, she and Shelly took the plunge and got a place together.
I’ve never lived on my own before. I went from living with my parents, to living with my sisters and Thea’s ex-husband, to living with Annmarie for years.
It is both freeing to have all of this space and responsibility and…lonely.
I hate being alone. Which is probably not great for me, but I don’t have the time to wonder what that says about me as a person.
I enter the grocery store and smile at Earl, the owner of the shop, before grabbing a basket and making my way down theaisles. I smile at the other residents, getting weird glances in return, and frown when they look away.
Since moving here, it was like coming home. Every local welcomed us with open arms. Most would stop me and chat for a minute, which took some getting used to, but I love it now.
When no one stops me or says a word, I head to the checkout where Meryl—the local town gossip—is getting her weekly groceries and chatting it up with Earl.
“Morning, Meryl, Earl,” I say in greeting, just like I normally would.
Meryl looks at me, and Earl gives me a warm smile. At least someone isn’t mad at me.
