Page 65 of Wake Me Up
“Running away again, darlin’?” he drawls into the cold night air. “You should know by now, I’ll just keep chasing you.”
I watch the dog rush toward the side entrance so I take the few steps to let him back inside before I turn toward Tripp. Even in the night sky, when I can barely see his face, he’s heartbreakingly handsome. Everything about this man is attractive, but I can’t keep him for myself.
“You should stop chasing me, Tripp.” I pause, needing to take a breath in order to finish my sentence. “We should cut ties now. This was all a mistake.”
“What are you even talking about?” Frustrated, he shakes his head. “What the hell is the issue now, Freya? I’d love to know what hoops you need me to jump through.” He looks angry. “And I’m pretty fucking good at jumping, just so you know.”
I don’t want to hurt someone as sweet as Tripp. He’s been through loss and grief, but it’s what I have to do. I need to break his heart. I have no choice here.
I have to work up the nerve to say the bullshit words that are going to come from my mouth. I need to tell him we aren’t meant to be even though I know deep down that we are.
“You and me? We’re not … forever material.” The words hurt to say, but he’s got to hear them.
But instead of looking sad, he simply stands there, unmoving.
“Go on,” he finally utters. “Get it out now. Say whatever it is you think you need to.”
There he goes, being annoyingly calm once again.
“Tripp … you know the other night, when you kissed the scars on my stomach, and I told you that Aviana’s delivery was scary and I knew I was done having kids?” I stare up at him, ready to break his heart. “The scars are from surgery for a tubal removal. So, not only do I not want any more children …” I stop, inhaling sharply. “I physicallycan’thave any more either.”
His blue eyes twinkle against the moonlight as I wait for him to say what he’s going to say. Maybe he’ll leave right now. Or perhaps he’ll do the noble thing in true Tripp fashion and try to tell me everything’s okay, even though it isn’t.
Finally, he shrugs his shoulders. “Okay,” he says, tucking a hand in his pocket. “So, what does that have to do with you sabotaging Thanksgiving for yourself and me?” He jerks his thumb toward my parents’ house. “There are about ten pies in there that I’d love to eat before I lick your pussy later on tonight. So, tell me, what the hell are we doing out here? It’s fucking cold out.”
“Don’t you get it?” I cry, my lip quivering. “I’m done having kids. You haven’t even begun.” I inhale a shaky breath, brushing the tears off my cheeks. “I can’t be your forever when I can’t give you things you need or want. And I can’t keep you around until you decide you need to have a baby of your own and leave me because by then, my kids and I will be so fucking attached to you that it’ll kill us to lose you.”
Tears stream down my cheeks, instantly cooling my skin because the night air is so cold. I sniffle, waiting for him to say something before, finally, I turn away from him.
“So, what? I don’t even get a say?” he calls out, stopping me in my tracks. “You just decide that I definitely want kids of my own, and now we can’t be together? That’s fucked up, darlin’. Even for you.”
I don’t turn to face him, but instead, I just stop in my tracks, feeling him get closer.
Just like I assumed he would, he walks in front of me and forces me to see him.
“Dammit, Freya,” he practically hisses. “If you had just fucking asked me, I would have told you that I don’t give two fucks about having kids of my own. Why would I when you have three of the coolest kids that I’ve ever met?” He tilts his head to the side slightly. “I love you, and I love your kids.” His eyes grow glossy, and his voice cracks. “Iwantyou and your kids, Freya. The ones you already have. I want all four of you. I want to love you all. Can’t you just fucking let me?”
My lip trembles, and my nose runs. “Y-you do?” I sniff, wiping my face with my sleeve.
“Yes,” he practically snaps. “And if you stopped pushing me away and gave me an actual chance, I’d show you that. You don’t get to decide what I want or what I need in life.” Sliding his hand along my cheek, he dips his forehead closer. “Especially when all I want or need is you guys.”
This is another one of those moments when I can’t believe that Tripp fell into my life the way that he did. And if it had been a second earlier, I probably wouldn’t have seen him. Not fully anyway. Because I wasn’t ready to love again. The universe delivered this angel the instant I was ready for him, even if I didn’t realize it right away.
“I’m sorry,” I croak. “I just got so used to the idea of never being loved again that I …” I shrug my shoulders. “I just keep trying to sabotage this before it goes to shit on its own. For so long, I’ve taken care of myself … and I guess I don’t know how to let someone else be here for me.”
“Well, get used to it, darlin’.” He cups my cheeks, his eyes burning into mine. “Because from here on out, whatever you need me to be, I’ll be it. So, stop waiting for the other shoe to drop, baby. It’s not going to.” His lips press to mine, kissing me as his tears mix with my own. “I love you. I love you so fucking much,” he says, his forehead against mine. “So, just let me fucking do that.”
My head nods against his. “Okay,” I croak. “I will.”
“Thank fucking God,” he grumbles against my lips before kissing me harder. “You’re exhausting—you know that, right?”
“I know,” I sigh into his mouth, whimpering and clawing at his back when he intensifies the kiss. I want him so badly right now that I’m losing my mind.
Pulling back, he grips my chin. “Trust me, I’d love nothing more than to fuck the worries right out of you. I’d love to empty you of those negative thoughts and fill you instead with my cum.”
A shiver runs down my body, stopping right between my legs and making me throb from his words.
“I can’t do that though because your kids and family are inside.”
