Page 56 of Wake Me Up
Putting my head down next to Aviana’s hand, I close my eyes and imagine her waking up, almost like I’m trying to will it to happen.
Wake up, baby. I need to see your beautiful eyes.
I silently talk to Jamie, begging him to keep her safe and send her back to me. Seeing his face shine through my mind pains me as I think back to the unimaginable loss my kids and I have suffered.
“Hi, Mommy.” Aviana’s voice is much hoarser than normal.
When my head flies up and her eyes peek at me under the bandage wrapped around her head, I try to keep it together, but it’s hard.
“Hi, baby,” I weep, my lip trembling. “How are you?”
“My head hurts,” she whispers. “But I’m okay.”
“Good, sweetie.” I sniffle. “Good.”
I just keep staring at her as tears of happiness pour from my eyes. I don’t think I would have survived it if something had happened to her—to any of my kids. Today has been one of the worst days of my life, and to see her eyes open … I’m so happy.
“I saw Daddy,” she says, a little smile turning the corners of her lips up.
My heart aches in my chest, as I wish she could have really seen him.
She’s seen pictures of him, but she was too little when he passed away to really remember him. So, out of all the things I thought she’d say … this isn’t it. But in my eyes, this is a gift.
“Y-you did?” I squeak, and she nods.
“Daddy said it’s all going to be okay,” she answers me, suddenly looking down at her hands. “Daddy also told me to tell you that it’s okay and that he’ll always love you.”
My eyebrows knit together, and more tears cloud my vision. I don’t even know what I believe in most of the time, but the fact that my daughter saw her dad, I have to believe it meant something. Maybe that’s just my inner guilt though.
“What’s okay?” I whisper.
She’s quiet for a moment before her little hand squeezes mine. “I think he wants you to give Tripp a chance,” she says softly. “Daddy just wants you to be happy. He wants all of us to be happy.”
I’m full-on bawling now, and even though I don’t have a scientific answer for why any of this happened, I know it did.
“What about you, baby?” I strum my finger along her soft cheek. “What do you want?”
“I want you to be happy. And I want Tripp to be around us more,” she says, smiling. “Is that okay?”
“It sure is.” I look at my daughter, so grateful to hear her sweet voice and look at her beautiful eyes. All is good in the world now that I know she’s all right.
Climbing into bed beside her, I hold her close.
Eventually, we’ll need to tell my kids the truth about our marriage. I hope that when we do, they’ll know we did it for Aviana, and I pray it won’t upset them that we kept it from them for as long as we did.
I’m starting to see that it might not be the worst thing in the world for me to actually give Tripp a real chance as my husband. After all, my kids deserve a man like him in their lives.
I was already falling in love with Tripp, and then he showed up for me when I needed him most, sending me over the edge.
I’m in love with him. And I think he may love me too.
My house is filled with laughter, and that somehow makes it seem more colorful in here. Even warmer, too, as the sound of an intense game of Go Fish goes on at my dining room table.
“No, I do not have a lobster,” Tripp says, peeking over his cards at Aviana. “Go fish, my friend.”
Aviana rolls her eyes at him, huffing out an exaggerated breath, but it’s obvious she’s having fun playing the Maine edition of Go Fish with Tripp and her brothers that he brought home to her today. The doctor said card games were allowed during recovery—just no screen time for now.
I watch them off and on from my kitchen as I put away the leftover spaghetti we had, which I hadn’t even had to make because Tripp did. Having him here seems to bring a great comfort to my entire house, and the boys laugh harder than I think I’ve heard them laugh in years.
