Page 24 of Wake Me Up
I look at my daughter, who sleeps seemingly peaceful under the sheets, covered in her favorite blanket from home, and sigh. “She’s tired. Really, really tired.”
He takes a seat on the edge of the other side of the bed, sitting in here with us just like he’s an old friend—because he sort of is. “You know it comes with the territory. These seizures—they take a lot out of her.” He pauses, looking down at her sweet face. “Freya, I understand that the last twenty-four hours have been rough, but … it may be time that we talk about surgery.”
A sick feeling makes my stomach churn, and my heart stops beating, freezing right in my chest, just like it has the other times that he’s brought this up. I’ve always known this was a possibility, but I guess I just kept hoping that it wouldn’t come to this. I thought she’d grow out of it atsome point, like so many kids do. She’s my baby. The thought of her having brain surgery isn’t something I can stomach.
I stand abruptly before I can stop myself, walking to the window and pacing back and forth. “She’s so little, Dr. Ash,” I whisper. My pacing stops, and I look at my sweet Avy. “It all seems so risky.”
He’s quiet for a moment, and when my eyes float to him, he’s looking at my daughter again. Slowly, he stands, walking to me. Putting his hand on my shoulder, he smiles sympathetically. “These seizures used to come once a year—at most. Now, she’s had four in the past six or seven months alone. Two of them were yesterday.” He inhales, patting my shoulder with his large hand. “She’d have the very best surgeon, Freya. I’d make sure of it. And she wouldn’t have to keep going through this.” He waves toward her in the bed. “She could be a kid. One who didn’t have to go to school and worry about having a seizure in front of all her peers.”
It feels like the life is being sucked out of my body all at once. Worry, concern, and fear paralyze me, making me need to sit down in the small chair in the corner.
I look up at him through tear-filled eyes. “Explain the surgery to me once more,” I whisper, knowing exactly what it is because he’s talked me through it many times and I’ve researched it on my own too.
He pulls up the other chair beside mine, giving me a slight nod, and he begins to explain it in more detail. The surgeon would be cutting out the portion of her brain that causes the seizures. Cutting into my baby girl’s brain.
But I know in my heart that this is the only choice I have.
My girl needs me to be strong right now. She deserves to have a normal childhood. And I need to trust Dr. Ash when he says that she’ll have only the best.
Unknown Number: This is Cash on my brother’s phone. Mom gave me your number.
I read the text on my screen and type back.
Me: What’s up, Moneybags?
I save the number in my phone while I wait for him to answer. The game I invited them to is tomorrow, and I haven’t heard a peep from Freya. As much as it’s been driving me crazy, I planned to just leave it alone until next week, when I reach out to set up another lesson. If she wanted to go, she would have said.
Cane: My mom and Avy can’t come, but she said if it’s okay with you, our Mimi and Papa can bring us. And that Gramp Frank might come, too, if that’s okay.
Cane: Gramp Frank is my grandmother’s dad. He’s really old, and he acts mean sometimes, but he’s actually cool.
I fight back a laugh at all the facts about his grandfather the kid just shot at me. And then I grimace nervously because the old fucker sounds kind of intimidating.
Me: Yes, definitely. Would love for you to come. The tickets will be at Will Call.
Cane: Who’s Will Call?
My lip twitches with amusement because I know he’s dead serious.
Me: Ask your mom. She’ll explain it.
The dots appear as he types and then disappear. This goes on for a few moments before, finally, his message comes through.
Cane: I can’t right now because she’s at the hospital. I’ll ask Mimi and Papa.
Within seconds of looking at the message, I have my phone to my ear and am waiting for him to answer. I don’t know what’s going on, but I need to find out.
“Hello?” Cash answers Cane’s phone.
“What’s going on? Why is your mom in the hospital?” I say quickly, trying to keep my voice calm and knowing that I have no right to be worked up.
“It’s Avy, not Mom,” he responds sadly. “She has epilepsy and has been having more seizures.”
“Shit,” I utter. “I’m so sorry, man. Is she okay?”
There’s a short pause, telling me something isn’t good before, finally, his voice speaks low. “I don’t know yet. She had another seizure last night,Mom said, and Mom hasn’t really told us anything today. Other than she wants us to go to the game.”
Cash is the type of kid who genuinely cares about other people. I bet Cane is the same; I just haven’t gotten to spend as much time with him. I’m sure after losing their dad years ago, dealing with this right now is hard. I had no idea that Aviana had epilepsy, but that really fucking sucks.
