Page 87 of Disillusioned
Lilac nodded. She was a fool.
He dragged the hem of her dress up her bare leg, revealing the dagger strapped at her thigh.
Delicately, he plucked it from the sheath without touching her skin. Garin held it straight up in the light, suspending the blade between them and marveling at the intricate adornments. He, too, must be remembering the way he’d entranced Lilac to make herself come with the vibrating hilt.
He lowered the blade, and just as she prepared to feel him shove the rest of her skirts away to press it against her center, there was a prick above her bodice. Garin held the tip of her own blade against her chest. One swift move and it would pierce her heart.
“You are a cruel and wretched thing. A willing instrument in my undoing.”
“Garin.” He was beyond reason, so convinced that he was being tricked. “Put it down.”
“I have to believe,” he said quietly. “It cannot be true. You are a courtesan Myrddin sent to retrieve me. And if not, then you are a demon sent from the deepest circle of hell to torment me.”
“If you’re going to kill me,” she said, chin lifted, “then do it. But do not pretend your tremendous anger would be misdirected at some courtesan. Do it because you cannot bear to think of me?—”
“You are not her.” His face twisted with desperation and something else she could not place. His shoulders quaked as he stared at her, murderous. “I don’t know what is happening to me. I will drain you, and move on to everyone in that fucking tavern. Do not lie to me!”
She stilled, pressed back as far as she could against the settee as Garin’s chest heaved.Heartbroken. He was heartbroken.
They stared at each other in silence, the music and voices outside filling the gaping void between them. No knock came, no shout or acknowledgement from Bastion or Myrddin, if they were paying attention at all. If no one heard Garin’s shouting, no one would hear if she screamed for help.
“She is leagues and leagues away from here, under my command. Safe fromme.” Garin looked down at the blade, still processing that it was in his grasp. “I have done my part so Lilac has a fighting chance.”
She blinked through her blurry vision. “Done your part? Do you mean against France? It is her part and hers alone. You said so yourself.”
“That isn’t what I mean.” His breath was shuddering. He shifted his weight back, taking her in. “My newfound ability to daywalk has garnered me more purpose, more hope to this life than feeding and slinking in the shadows. But as soon as those curses were lifted, there was another awaiting me on the other side. You see, I have made the beginner’s error of falling into a precarious trap.” He laughed, a hopeless sound. “She exacerbates my very condition. But it could never be. Not without anarchy.” Garin exhaled, the weight of his confession visibly leaving his chest.
It then crushed hers. Lilac’s glare only hardened, tugging her trained armor over her exposed heart. “You cannot possibly feel that way if you willingly shove her off to someone else.”
Garin’s lip curled away from his teeth. “Any assumption otherwise would be ludicrous considering what I cannot help but feel for her. It is infuriating, a burden and a medal I willingly wear. So is the hope that she and I could ever exist in the same room, in the scope of the public eye, without wielding blades at each other. Without performing, ruse after ruse. I would do it till the end of days, but the humanity in her will grow weary and tired. As it should.” Again, he pressed the tip of the dagger against her skin. “She knows that deep down. She wouldn’t be here tonight, she’s smarter than that. I have made sure everything is in order,” he reassured himself. “I have done my due diligence, and will ensure she marries if it is the last thing I?—”
There was a ripping noise, followed by a squelch.
Lilac winced, then smiled at the sting of pain at her upper thigh.
16
GARIN
He should make them pay.Bastion. Casmir. Myrddin.He thought he’d get drunk on a couple of pretty girls and forget the woman for whom even the darkest parts of his soul bent the knee. Now, he was just drunk on blood and scotch. And Dragondew Mead, apparently.
And he wasstillravenous, his cock now annoyingly stiff in his trousers.
He did not want to harm this girl for merely looking like Lilac. His idiot friends had probably offered her a hefty coin bag since it didn’t seem they’d entranced or spelled her. Even Bastion should have known this was a step too far.
What did they think would happen? That he wouldn’t figure them out? That he’d be tricked into somehow believing Lilac had managed to escape her gates and travel so far from her castle after her prolonged absence? What were they intending, besides solidifying this courtesan’s certain death?
He could snap her neck like he said he would. Then, and only then, would her glamor dissolve. He could slip undetected onto the balcony. The staff would find his mess, the bodies, and then, and only then might the establishment seek to ban vampires, as they should have long ago. His kind didn’t belong here. Not with drinks like this Dragondew Mead floatingbetween unsuspecting hands and mouths. Feeding from the vein was more ethical under Lorietta’s strict watch.
And if it were her, if the girl before himwasthe queen… it meant that Lilac had somehow belied his entrancement.How?
The night was cruel, the darkness crushing, and Garin would do almost anything for solace. To crawl into the light, bloodied and barren, where the vast forest and reason awaited him. Where he’d be held accountable for his actions.
But he was stuck here, cornered by a hunger and lust he’d never before experienced.
Garin swallowed, throat burning. A glamor of Lilac felt exceptionally personal, because in the split second it took for her to cut herself, understanding flooded his senses.
The girl shoved the wet scalpel against his hand, clumsily pushing it against his palm. He finally fumbled with it, an unwelcome chill rolling off his back when her fingers brushed his.
