Page 56 of Disillusioned
“Not this time. The witches will. It’s not best to have you return alone, as the sound of the carriage crash apparently carried to Paimpont, so theremay be more thieves lurking along the roads than normal. Plus, I still think they’ll be more receptive to magic folk returning you than I, especially after the arm. And with all those ridiculous rumors Sinclair spread of you running off with vampires.” He crossed the room and lifted two logs from the pile to nestle them among the dying embers.”
Why was he avoiding her gaze?
“Plus, what exactly would I do there, Your Majesty?”
She didn’t quite know how to answer that when all she wanted to do was stomp over and force him to look at her. “You were there after my ceremony. I saw you several times in the halls. You came to my chamber.”
He continued to fiddle with the logs. “I wanted to ensure your safety and needed to ensure Giles remained entranced in his new job as stablehand while maintaining my own cover at the castle.” He straightened and dusted his hands. “He will remain under my influence until I figure out if he is fit to return as priest, or if another need be appointed. If there are any issues, I’ll come to remedy them. Otherwise, there’s no other reason for me to involve myself, is there?”
“No reason?” As he moved toward the door, she sidestepped, blocking it with her body. She couldn’t even name the emotion pounding through her veins. It felt like there was a fountain of words to be spewed, all of it stopped by the lump in her throat. In the short time they’d known each other, Lilac had felt hated, despised, yearned and hungered after—but she never feltunwanted. “You don’t want to see me.”
“That is not true.” He moved to reach past her for the doorknob, but she gripped it with her own hand, forcing him off.
“You laid with me just there,” she whispered, anger mounting, pointing at the bed. “You read to me several stories, told me one from your childhood. You laughed with me. You knelt and apologized to me for…” She frowned, her memory distant, as if it were years ago.No, she thought regretfully. Even decades would not erase the memory of Garin’s trembling breath against the nape of her neck, of his too careful fingertips drumming upon the blanket he’d tucked around her. “For wanting me.”
There was no glint of recognition in his eyes—just guilt, or maybe concern. “Lorietta had me entrance you back to bed every time you jolted awake or had a night terror. Doing so can invoke strange or violentdreams.” He looked down at her fist on the knob. “She said she couldn’t keep feeding you the sleeping draught without risking your health.”
“I don’t believe you.” She glared up at him and wiped her cheeks hastily against the back of her hand, clutching her dagger.How could she be crying?
Had none of it been real? None of his caresses, and care, and… love?
It felt so real.
Garin took her hand and nudged the blade along his extended wrist. “Just a taste will tell you all you need to know.”
The offer wasn’t sincere, she could feel it. Her limbs were buzzing, they ached to move. In a flash, she moved the dagger, pointed it at his throat.
Shocked at her speed, at the motion, she jerked back. The blade clattered to the floor.
The stern mask Garin wore faltered. There was a glimmer of surprise, but all he said was, “How much do you remember after you woke? After we crashed.”
She didn’t know. Everything was muddled. There were glimpses of what had happened, but none of it felt real. All she could remember—all she could think of—was Garin. Hearing everything, being trapped in the darkness of her own mind, the cage of excruciating pain that was her broken body.
Waking up in the dirt to him hovering above her, cradling her, his eyes filled with real terror, his remorseful, devilish face twisted into some intoxicating combination of the heavens and hells.
Then, him, next to her in that very bed.
“Whathappened?”
He nodded slowly, like she was a feral animal liable to snap at any moment. “We’re not entirely sure. Like I said, your body was loaded with magic. The merchant’s archer hit you in the hand with an arrow imbued with a disillusionment charm, meant to lift any and all enchantments. They weren’t after you, but Emrys.” His voice grew tight with fury. “The idiot paid them in counterfeit coin years ago, so they’ve been tracking him. They shot him in the chest.”
TheGuàihad said they were tracking someone. A powerful warlock…but from what she barely remembered of the argument she’d overheard, Emrys hadn’t been the target. What she did remember,vividly, was thatshe hadn’t undone Adelaide’s tonic. She was about to. That’s when the searing pain had bloomed on the knuckles of her right hand.
“He died,” she croaked, blinking away the image of his corpse.
“Yes, but it wasn’t the arrow that killed him. And he didn’t stay dead for very long.”
“What—”
“The arrow obviously dissolved your dress,” he grunted, forcefully swinging the topic as she gazed past him, unseeing. “Your bones were broken in multiple places. TheGuàiwarned us about overwhelming your body with magic. We had no choice but to wait for it to be let out of your system. For a few days, Lorietta fed you, washed, and kept you clean. And I ensured you kept your privacy as much as possible,” he added when her gaze dropped to the floor, hot humiliation flooding through her.
“But I woke up. I was awake after the crash…Wasn’t I?” She shut her eyes, rifling through shards of memory, not wanting to remember butneedingto. She couldn’t recall much else, but there were jolts of emotion—relief, rage, then terror. Being able to only hear, then suddenly blinking against the sunlight. “There was so much pain, then none at all. I remember seeing the carriage there. Giles and Emrys, on the ground. Their bodies twisted in the dirt.” She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “Where are they?” she asked quietly. “Are they here?”
“Emrys is…alive,” he said with an annoyed grunt. “He’s a few rooms down. Bastion has been in and out, helping us nurse him back to health. Giles was completely unconscious for two days. A head injury. We thought we’d lost him, but Emrys brought him back with a spell once he had recovered enough.”
Lilac started to say something, but Garin silenced her with a look.
“As a parting gift, theguàiperformed a bone mending spell on you, but it only fixed your spine and ribs.” He was speaking quickly now, as if the memories were too painful to linger upon. “You did wake, then, briefly.” He stopped to eye her sidelong.
