Page 82 of No Place Like Home
“No, I don’t need rest. You said something before Kaye called me that sounded like you thought I’d leave you. That tells me you thinkI’m no better than your old man. I’ve thought a lot about us tonight, and I can assure you, leaving you is not what I plan to do.”
I didn’t think that little of him. Rowan was the sweetest man I knew, and nothing at all like my father. He put everyone first. He loved his family and friends in a big way—and he loved me. My heart no longer stuttered with that thought. It sped up and I filled my lungs with much-needed oxygen.
His eyes softened as he walked across the kitchen toward me. “Even if I have to wait forever for you to come to your senses and realize we’re meant to be together, I will be waiting right here.”
I searched his sweet brown eyes, then let my gaze wander over his perfectly chiseled features until they stalled for a brief moment on his lips. I met his eyes once again through lowered lashes. “What do you mean?”
“I took the job.”
“You did?” I asked. My heart skipped a beat, and I swear I stopped breathing.
“I did. They gave me the choice: Dallas or Nashville.”
He stood right in front of me, where I could feel the heat from his body and smell his cologne. My pulse raced. The seconds that ticked by as I waited to hear more seemed like a century. What if he chose Dallas? What if he left again? What if I lose him?
He gently held my hands in his. “I chose Nashville. Because I chose you. I always will, Summer. No matter what.”
Fear coursed through my veins as his hands brushed up my arms on their way to cup my cheeks and tilt my head back to look at him.
“Summer, I want us together. I don’t know what the future holds.” He brushed his thumbs across my cheekbones. “Kids, or no kids—we’ll face that when we get there.” He dropped his hands andagain clasped mine. Right now, I want us. I want you, Summer, because we’ve been apart for too long. And because I love you.”
His big brown eyes held mine. I was speechless, unsure how to react to those words. I’d always backed away when they were casually flung around between friends.
But . . . Rowan.
My fingers fell from his hands. I wanted to promise him something, but I didn’t know what. He’s staying. For me. That’s what I hoped to hear. That’s what I wanted.
But fear gripped me and wouldn’t let go.
I couldn’t think with him looking at me with that much feeling blazing in his eyes, so I took a step back. I had to put space between us to separate myself from him so I could think. Process. But I couldn’t get my brain to function.
“Summer . . .” He took a step toward me.
I took another step back, my pulse racing. I wanted to say something, anything, but I couldn’t. It was like I was having an out of body experience. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but the part of me controlling my brain wouldn’t have it. I couldn’t say the words.
He shook his head, and the muscle in his jaw twitched. He held my eyes, but I couldn’t move.
He pursed his lips and moved his gaze to the ceiling. “I . . .” He puffed out a breath. “I can’t.” And then he walked out.
My heart pounded in my chest, as if beating in his direction, and my stomach churned. What had I done? My brain finally took control and screamed at me to go after him, but my feet weren’t listening. They were glued to the spot. Heavy as lead.
This is bullshit! Get control of yourself, Summer. You can’t let him walk out. You can’t lose him again.
My feet finally moved, and I sprinted the short distance to the door and out onto the driveway. There was no moon, so the only light came from the headlights of Rowan’s Jeep.
I ran to the driver’s door and opened it. “Rowan, stop!” I threw all my desperation into my voice. “Please.”
“What the hell, Summer?” He glared at me with one hand on the wheel and the other on the gear shift.
“I’m sorry,” I sobbed. When had I started crying? I had never cried over a man before, but the thought of Rowan driving away and out of my life felt too final. “Don’t go.” My insides were in turmoil, and I thought I might throw up.
What if he decided he didn’t want my chaos, or my stubbornness . . . or my infertility? But did I really want him to walk out of my life forever?
My voice came out soft, pleading. “I want you to stay. Please?”
He turned his face toward me, his eyes red-rimmed.
My stomach clenched. “Please get out. Please let me talk to you?”
