Page 74 of No Place Like Home
“Well, at least say bye to my son. He hardly knows you, but has become your biggest fan in the short time you’ve been here.”
“I know. Darlene said the same thing.” I pushed away from the table as James ran back into the kitchen. I gave him a hug and promised to see him soon. That was one promise I hoped I could keep. Then I hugged Darlene and lugged my suitcase out to the garage. I had to get out of here—now.
Bryson leaned on the driver’s door of my Jeep with his hands shoved in his pockets. I gestured for him to get out of the way.
“Go after her, Rowan.”
“Can’t. She made it clear. She doesn’t love me.” I felt the now-familiar lump form and cleared my throat for what felt like the billionth time this week trying to get it to disappear, but it was no use. It always returned. “Get out of the way, Bryson. I’vegotto leave.”
“You can get another interview—hell, another job. Find her and talk to her.”
I clamped my teeth together, dropped my suitcase on the ground, and balled my hands into fists. “Let’s not do this again. I’ve got to go. Get the hell away from my Jeep.”
Damn, stubborn-ass Bryson. I didn’t want to leave after a fight again, but desperation ate at me. I needed to get out of here. I grabbed his arm and pushed him away. He pushed back, and before I knew it, our judo holds came back to the forefront and we weregrappling in the garage. This wasn’t for fun, though. Like the last time I left, I wanted to hurt him. He had to stop getting in my way.
“What the hell are you two doing?” Darlene bellowed.
We froze. I had him in a headlock. He had his arms around my chest ready to lift me and throw me on the ground.
“Step away from each other.Now.” Darlene used her “get control of the room” teacher voice, which never failed to get our attention, and I was sure it worked on all her students. In a quieter voice, she said, “Don’t do this again.” She stood between us, glancing first at Bryson, then at me. “You two are the most stubborn men I know.”
She turned to me and gripped my biceps. “Look, Rowan.” She paused and let out a breath. “She swore me not to say anything, but I can’t let this happen.” She turned her face toward the ceiling and said, “You need to know.”
Her attitude was making me uneasy. “What do I need to know?” I asked hesitantly.
Her gaze returned to mine. “Do you remember back in high school, when Summer missed a lot of school, but never really said why?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“She has something called endometriosis. Because of it, she can’t have children and doesn’t think you should have to deal with that.”
I took a step back and tilted my head to the side and glared at her. “What? I don’t understand.”
“She doesn’t want to love you because she doesn’t want you in a relationship where you won’t be able to have any kids of your own.”
A tangle of emotions twisted inside me, leaving me dazed. She doesn’t want to love me . . .because she can’t have kids? I turned awayfrom Darlene, stunned. I shook my head and tried to make sense of what I heard. “She can’t have children? Is she sure?”
“Pretty sure. She’s talked to a lot of doctors over the years.”
I clenched my fists together and gritted my teeth. I tried to talk but words froze on my tongue. What could I say? This didn’t make sense.
“So, she’s decided,” I started slowly, the words forming as I spoke. “That we can’t be together . . . because she can’t have children.” I paced in the confined space of the garage. “She thinks I deserve to be a father . . . she can’t promise me that . . . so we can’t be together?” I stopped pacing as anger tore through my chest, my voice rising with irritation. “She’s making that choice for me?”
Darlene’s shoulders met her ears in a resigned shrug.
“That’s my choice to make.” My insides seethed as my pulse quickened.
“That’s what I told her,” Darlene said, her voice almost a whisper.
I paced again. This garage seemed big enough until I needed more space to sort out my thoughts. Now it was constricting.
I raked my hands through my hair and clenched my fingers together at the back of my neck. When I’d gotten ahold of my thoughts, I said, “I’m not sure what the hell endometriosis is, but I don’t give a shit about children now. I want to be with Summer and she’s letting this get between us.” I leaned my elbows on my knees and struggled to breathe in. I wasn’t sure what a panic attack was, but I thought in that moment that I might be having one.
“Breathe, Rowan,” Bryson said as he bent down next to me. “You look like you might pass out.”
I finally got control of whatever the hell had just happened and stood. A realization hit me square in the gut. “I’ve got to go to her.”
“Hell yeah, that’s what I’m talking about,” Bryson cheered as he smacked me on the back.
