Page 14 of Shadowed Hearts: Frost
"It's just temporary, Mom." The lie slides out easily after so much practice.
Dad drops his fork with a clatter. "Your cousin Jinky just made partner at her law firm—"
The napkin in my hands becomes a crane, then a frog, my fingers moving faster as conversations swirl around me.
On my left ate Mikaela—my older sister—is describing her latest corporate case. On my right, Kuya Migs mentions his hospital rounds. My younger brother Gabe is usually my ally, but he's trapped in a conversation with Uncle Ramon about his nursing program.
"...twenty-eight already..."
"...perfect job waiting at your uncle's firm..."
"...nice Filipino doctor we could introduce you to..."
The voices blend into a buzzing hum. I count ceiling tiles to ground myself as my leg bounces uncontrollably under the table. Sixteen tiles from the crystal chandelier to the wall.Twenty-three lumpia left on the serving plate. Five different conversations happening simultaneously.
I reach for my water glass, knocking over the saltshaker. Before I can clean it up, three relatives rush to help, creating even more chaos.
Next to me, Kuya Migs elbows me before clearing his throat.
"So, Dad, did you hear about that new cardiac procedure they're testing at my hospital?"
I send a silent prayer of thanks to my brother for his perfectly timed distraction. Dad immediately launches into a detailed discussion about healthcare protocols, giving me a brief reprieve from being the family disappointment.
Ate Kaela slides more pancit onto my plate, my sister's perfectly manicured red nails catching the light. "Eat more. You're too skinny."
I obediently take a bite, the familiar tangy-sweet noodles momentarily grounding me. The family chatter continues around us—Tito Freddie's new silver Honda, Tita Elena's gallbladder surgery, cousin Jinky's baby shower next month.
"You know," Ate Kaela's voice is low enough that only I can hear, "Santos & Rivera is hiring paralegals right now." She cuts her chicken adobo into even pieces. "You could start there with your analytical skills, then maybe law school—"
"That's a wonderful idea!" Mom interjects, her radar for career conversations apparently turned to maximum sensitivity. "You'd make an excellent lawyer, anak."
Dad nods enthusiastically, putting down his fork. "Reyes and Reyes would look good on a law office door!"
My hand tightens around my fork as I carefully arrange my face into a neutral expression. "My work is more important than you realize."
"Yes, customer service is very important!" Mom beams. "Learning to deal with difficult people is a skill for any career."
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing hysterically. If only they knew that while they think I'm pouring lattes, I'm actually tracking human trafficking networks and hacking into secure databases.
The disconnect is almost comical—their Perfect Filipino Daughter is actually a digital vigilante who's broken more federal laws in a day than most people do in a lifetime.
My mind drifts to Asher Cross. Heat pools low in my belly as I imagine those large hands wrapped around his coffee cup, wondering how they would feel against my skin. The calluses I noticed on his trigger finger would create a delicious friction against—
Stop it. He's a potential threat, not a fantasy.
But my body doesn't seem to care about that distinction. My breathing quickens into the same pattern I experience during high-stakes system infiltrations—shallow, rapid, charged with adrenaline.
"Vanessa?" Ate Kaela's voice cuts through my thoughts. "Did you hear what Dad said about the Torres firm?"
I blink, guilt washing over me for fantasizing about a dangerous man. "Sorry, what?"
"Torres needs tech-savvy staff," Dad repeats, eyes bright with hope. "Your cousin can put in a good word."
"The scholarship your Lola sacrificed to help pay for sits unused," Mom adds, invoking utang na loob—the debt of gratitude that should make me feel guilty for my family's sacrifice.
The irony stings. They see me as an underachiever wasting my potential on minimum wage jobs, while my actual work has already helped identify three trafficking networks and saved at least eleven women. The life I've chosen matters, even if I can never tell them about it.
"I'll think about it," I lie, taking another bite of food.
