Page 163 of Shadowed Hearts: Frost
"You don't have to say it back all the time," she says fast. "I just needed you to know."
But I do want to say it back. I love her.
I love her chaos and her brilliant mind and the way she makes my ordered world better just by being in it.
The depth of this feeling still unnerves me. Love remains the one variable I can't predict or control. Love got Sarah killed because I wasn't there when she needed me.
But looking at Vanessa, seeing the way she trusts me even as she takes control, the way she accepts my darkness while bringing her own light, fear means nothing compared to the possibility of losing her.
"I love you too." The words taste like freedom.
Her tears fall then, happy ones that she brushes away before leaning down to kiss me again. This kiss is different. Deeper, more desperate, full of promises and the kind of forever I never thought I'd want again.
When she breaks away, she sets her face. She shifts back, hands moving to my boxer briefs waistband.
"Off."
I lift my hips to help her strip away the last barrier between us.
My cock springs free, wet at the tip, and she wraps her small hand around me with confident strokes that makes my vision blur at the edges.
"Fuck, yes." The words tear from my throat as she works me with increasing pressure, thumb sweeping across the head to spread moisture.
She watches my face as she touches me, her eyes tracking every reaction, every twitch and gasp.
Like she's studying me the way she studies code, her fingers conducting an experiment with my body as the willing subject.
And I'm surrendering to every touch.
Every stroke of her hand pushes me closer to the edge until I'm balanced on a knife's point between control and surrender.
"Not like this," I manage to grit out, my hand covering hers to still the movement. "I want to be inside you."
Her eyes darken, and she releases her grip on my cock, positioning herself over me instead. The heat of her pussy hovers just above me, and her wetness slides along my length without taking me inside.
When did my sweet, coding genius become this confident seductress?
Then she's positioning herself over me again, the head of my cock pressing against her entrance. We both freeze for a moment.
This moment settles between us.
"You sure?" I ask, even though stopping now might kill me.
"Never been more sure of anything." She sinks down onto me, taking me inch by inch.
She's tight, hot, and perfect around me, and I have to grip the sheets again to keep from thrusting up into her. She needs time to adjust, and giving her that control, letting her set the pace, is both torture and the sweetest pleasure I've ever known.
When she takes me completely inside her body, we both groan at the sensation.
She feels like home, like the missing piece I never knew I was searching for.
"Move," I beg, my voice rough with need. "Please, Vanessa."
She begins to rock against me, slow first, then with growing confidence as she finds the rhythm that works for us both. Herpalms flatten against my chest, and she gives herself over to the feeling, her head tilting back as her lips part around quiet moans of pleasure.
She's beautiful. Uninhibited, chasing her pleasure with complete abandon. It's the most erotic thing I've ever seen, and the image burns into my memory forever.
My hands find her hips, not to control but to anchor, to ground us both as she builds the rhythm higher and faster. She's close. I can tell by the clench of her inner walls around me, by the breathless sounds she's making.
