Page 65 of Shadowed Vows: Ghost
He turns back and I study his profile in the fading light. His jaw is tense, brows furrowed slightly as he stares out at the city. A gentle breeze ruffles his dark hair.
"Are you okay?" I ask.
A quiet sound escapes him, almost a laugh but not quite. "You know, it's been a long time since anyone's asked me that question and actually wanted the real answer."
I turn to face him fully. "Well, I'm asking now."
He's quiet for a moment, calculating. "I'm...processing. This case, bringing you in, it's stirred up memories I've worked hard to bury."
"Like what?"
Kade inhales deeply, his broad chest rising and falling. His eyes move away for a moment, jaw clenching as if wrestling with his words. He opens his mouth, then closes it again, hand running through his tousled hair. The tension radiates from his body as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other.
"My first mission with Nightfall." His voice drops so low I have to lean in to hear him over the wind. "I was cocky, thought I knew everything. I'd been through hell in foster care, survived Special Forces training. But nothing could have prepared me for that night."
His eyes are distant, lost in memory. I resist the urge to touch his arm, to anchor him to the present.
"What happened?" I ask.
"It was supposed to be a simple extraction. Get in, grab the target, get out." His hands grip the railing tighter, knuckles turning white. "Intel was bad. Instead of one hostage, there were twelve. Kids, mostly."
My heart clenches. I think of Jenny, of all the stories she never got to tell.
"We got them out," Kade continues. "But I had to make a choice. Save the kids or save my team." The words hang heavy between us. "I chose the kids."
"If Roman hadn't..." He trails off, swallowing hard.
"Is that why you're so protective of your team now?" I ask.
He gives a single, sharp nod. "Every decision has consequences. Sometimes deadly ones."
The burden of that choice seems to float in the space separating our bodies. I understand now why he carries himself with such careful control. He's been living with impossible choices.
"You can't control everything, Kade."
His intense blue gaze locks with mine. "I can try."
"You did the right thing."
He turns to look at me, his eyes intense in the fading light. "Did I? My men died that night. Good men. And sometimes I wonder..."
I shake my head. "No. Those kids are alive because of you. That matters."
Something shifts in his expression, a flicker of vulnerability breaking through. He steps closer, close enough that I can feel the heat from his body.
"You see the world in black and white, don't you?" His voice is rough around the edges.
"Not always." I hold his gaze. "But some choices... some things... they are clear."
His eyes drop to my lips, then back up to my eyes. The air between us crackles with tension.
"And this?" he asks, his voice dropping to a dangerous rumble. "Is this clear?"
My breath catches in my throat. "Crystal."
Kade moves with the same lethal precision I've seen him use in combat, but there's nothing violent about the way his hand slides to the back of my neck. His fingers thread through my hair, grip tightening just enough to tell me he's still in control.
"Thank you," he murmurs, "for asking. For listening."
