Page 46 of Saved by my Baby Daddy Spy
I think I still want to know that now.
As I watch him crouch down to see the toy Kerri is trying to show him, I consider our relationship. He loves her. He cares for me. I’m falling for him. Everything should make sense, but it’s more complicated than that.
We have families who are already linked together. They have opinions on what happened between us. I don’t want to make Holden and me figuring out what we are more difficult by involving them.
“Hannah, you look like you’re still freaking out.” He stands up tall and looks down at me. “Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours. There’s no need to stand there and freak out when we can just talk about it.”
“I don’t know how much there really is to talk about,” I say, my words coming out in a rush. “Have you thought about us giving a real relationship a try?”
“And what do you mean by a real relationship?” He clears his throat, his cheeks turning slightly red. “I want to make sure that we’re on the same page about this.”
My cheeks feel like they’re on fire. “You know, the whole dating, seeing each other, aiming toward a potential future together. That kind of thing.”
His smile makes my heart skip a beat. “Hannah, of course I want to do the relationship thing with you.”
“I don’t want our families to know yet,” I say, before we can both get ahead of ourselves. “I know that it can’t stay a secret forever, but we have so many other things going on right now. You’re trying to build a relationship with Kerri and we’re trying to figure out what our family looks like. I don’t want our families to start voicing their opinions until we know what we think about everything.”
Holden sighs, but he nods. “Keeping our relationship a secret isn’t ideal, but I know what you’re talking about.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. “Okay. Good. I know that it’s a lot to ask, and it has nothing to do with being ashamed of our relationship or anything. I just want to try this without outside input right now.”
“Hannah,” he says, closing the distance between us and pulling me into a tight hug. “I’m not arguing with you about that at all.”
“I know you’re not.” I loop my arms around his waist and bury my face in his chest, letting the scent of his cologne soothe some of my nerves. “I just feel bad. It isn’t really the kind of thing that you want to talk to someone else about.”
Holden kisses my temple. “It’s all right. Hannah, I just want to be with you in whatever way you want to be with me. I don’t need anything more than this right now.”
I take a deep breath, trying to tell myself that everything is going to be all right. He is the only man I’ve been with since Audrey’s wedding. I’ve spent the last two years wishing that he would come back around so we could figure this out.
And now he’s here and I have to convince myself not to freak out.
This is a good thing.
“What do you say we put Kerri to bed and then we get to work on your office?” Holden asks as he pulls away from me. “The desk you picked out got delivered this morning.”
I grin, excitement bubbling through me. The desk is nicer than any other one I’ve had. “Getting my office together sounds good.”
Holden scoops up Kerri and heads into the hallway, on his way to her bedroom and her ensuite bathroom. I don’t bother to follow them, knowing that Kerri is safe and happy with Holden.
So, this is what it feels like to have him in my life. Our little family is starting to come together.
I smile to myself as I start to unpack, ready to settle into my new life.
As I stand in the middle of my office behind my desk, I can’t believe that this is my life. Holden smiles as he pushes the long, low shelving unit against the wall beneath the television hanging there.
I pull the thick black curtains open, revealing the city below. The lights shine beneath me. There’s something about being up this high and having that view while working that makes me feel more inspired than ever.
I’m going to be able to write more now. With this kind of office, there is nothing holding me back anymore.
“This is a beautiful office,” I say as I look around at the forest green walls and the dark floral wallpaper on the ceiling. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a better place to work.”
Holden drops into the massive cream-colored plush chair in the corner. He looks out the window before looking back at me with a smile. “I hope I never have to put that desk together again.”
I smooth my hands over the pale wood L-shaped desk and shrug. “Just think of how much work is going to get done here. I’m going to be able to write so many books.”
He smiles and nods. “I didn’t say it wasn’t worth it. Your smile right now is definitely worth building that hellish desk. I just don’t want to think about doing it again. We’ll hire someone next time.”
I laugh and cross the room to stand in front of him. Holden reaches out quickly, pulling me down to sit in his lap and look out at the city together. As I lean into his chest, I think about ending every workday like this.
