Page 45 of Saved by my Baby Daddy Spy
“It’s gorgeous.” She glances back at the rest of the apartment. “It’s so light and airy, but it’s got these great moody vibes too. I think it’s perfect for us, but I’m not sold on the price tag. Especially when Holden is going to be the one footing the bill.”
“Hannah.” I put my hand on the small of her back. It’s a casual touch, but electricity sparks between us. “If this is the place you want, then this is the place we’ll get.”
She shakes her head. “It’s a lot of money, Holden. And it has a lot more space than we’re ever going to need. I mean, six bedrooms is a lot of bedrooms.”
I shrug and tuck my hands in my pockets. “You need an office. I need an office. Then there’s the bedrooms we need. That really only leaves one bedroom left over for guests.”
Even though I can see that she wants to refuse, she doesn’t. Instead, she takes a deep breath and nods.
“Alright,” she says, looking up at me. “Let’s do this.”
Chapter Sixteen
Hannah
I’mfallingforHoldenagain.
It’s the only thought in my head as he carries the last of my boxes into my bedroom. Internally, I’m freaking out. There’s a part of me that thinks I should have taken longer to really think about moving in with Holden. I should have sat down and made a list with all the pros and cons.
However, if I had done that, I would have found a reason not to move in with him. I would have been able to convince myself that it was a terrible idea — though I know it isn’t — and I would have stayed with Audrey and Preston.
I would have worn out my welcome because I was too afraid to live with a man I had a baby with.
Kerri gurgles in her playpen as Holden sets the box near the walk-in closet. Holden smiles down to her, making silly faces until she is shrieking with laughter.
I’m falling for him hard and fast. I’m so screwed if this all goes wrong.
I have to keep a positive mind about this, though. I want everything to work out and I could use the help with Kerri. Though I love her to death, she is a handful at times, and I hate relying on my sister as much as I have.
Audrey is great. She took me in when I needed help the most. She loves Kerri the way only an aunt can. She’s never made us feel like a burden at all. Yet, there’s still a little voice in the back of my mind that keeps telling me I’ve been creating more stress in her life.
She would never tell me, but it has felt like it was time to go.
With Holden around, things might get easier. I have another person in my life to tag in if I need it. He’s going to be able to take care of her when I need time to work.
He’s the person I’ve been waiting for since the day I found out I was pregnant. He’s been the one I’ve needed by my side all along.
But, two years later, I shouldn’t still be giddy when I think about him. I shouldn’t be so willing to move past everything that happened in favor of starting over.
I am, though. I’m more than willing to look past everything that happened because Kerri deserves to get to know her father. She deserves to have another person in her life who is going to love her as much as I do.
The same person that I can see a future with if I close my eyes and allow my imagination to wander even slightly.
I need to get a grip. This is something that we are trying. I need to keep my feelings to myself for now. I don’t want to put any more pressure onto Holden’s developing relationship with Kerri.
“You look like you’re freaking out right now,” Holden says as he scoops Kerri up and balances her on his hip. “Want to talk about it?”
“Have you ever thought about us and what would have happened if you hadn’t gone into the witness protection program?”
Holden looks like I’ve knocked the air out of him. His eyes are wide. His mouth opens and closes a few times before he puts Kerri on the ground to roam around.
“Of course.” He shifts his weight from one side to the other. “I’ve thought a lot about you in the past two years. You were always the woman that I couldn’t seem to get out of my head. I didn’t think that I would see you again, though. At least, not in any sort of friendly environment. I was sure that you would hate me for disappearing the way I did.”
I nod, trying to figure out how I feel about that information. The lovestruck girl in me is thrilled to know that he still has feelings for me. The same feelings that I’m sure I have for him.
The woman with a baby knows that I need to think carefully about this. I need to decide what it is I want.
Except I already know what I want when it comes to Holden. I’ve never not known what I wanted. While I may have been trying to track him down to talk about Kerri, I was also trying to track him down for me too. I wanted to know if there was something that he thought would be worth exploring.
