Page 34 of Saved by my Baby Daddy Spy
There is no way that I can keep spying. I wasn’t sure I was going to continue the job before, but now that I know I have a daughter, I’m done.
I have to be. I can’t be the reason she loses a parent.
“So, now that we’re over this hump,” Hampton says as he heads to the coffee machine. “Why don’t we take a moment to have some coffee and talk about not killing your handler when you see him? Or, we could talk about what happened when Hannah told you about Kerrigan.”
“I lost my shit on her. She’s trying to be understanding and offering me time to figure out what I want. Fuck, Hampton, she offered me an out to raising our child. Am I really that horrible that she thinks I would walk away and leave her to parent on her own?”
“She doesn’t really know you, Holden. She knows the rest of the family because we’ve been around. But you’ve been gone for the last two years. Even before that, you weren’t around much. How is she supposed to know what kind of person you are?”
I groan and run my hands down my face before sitting up straight. “I hate it when you make sense.”
Hampton walks over and hands me a cup of coffee. “Drink this, and then we can run through whatever you’re going to go out and do this afternoon.”
I sigh and take the cup of coffee. I’m going to need to be as awake as possible to have a day filled with conversations I don’t want to have.
“Holden,” Eli says, a bright smile on his face as I walk into his office later that afternoon. “I was hoping to see you soon. Actually, I was going to call you. We have another job that the boss would like to send you on. Nothing as long as your last few. Maybe two months at most.”
Eli is a middle-aged man with salt and pepper hair. His sharp gaze holds a mixture of warmth and professionalism, a demeanor he picked up from his years of experience as a spy handler.
The office itself reflects Eli’s practical and unpretentious style. The walls are covered with framed praise notes and plain mission maps that bear witness to the profitable projects he oversaw. The carefully arranged desk, which is equipped with a computer and several communication devices, serves as the hub of the space.
“It’s not happening,” I say as I stand in his doorway and adjust my suit jacket. “I’m done.”
“What do you mean?” Eli shakes his head and leans back in his chair, a patronizing smile on his face. “There is no being done. Not yet anyway. You are in the prime of your career. You have years left.”
“I have a daughter,” I say, crossing my arms. My eyes narrow when understanding flickers across his face.
He did know.
“Funnily enough, my daughter is fifteen months old. And apparently for most of the pregnancy and several months of her life, my brother was talking to you every week to make sure that you knew about the baby. Which is why I want to know why this was never brought to my attention.”
Eli shrugs like it isn’t his problem and it infuriates me. My hands clench into fists as I try to keep my temper under control.
I can’t believe that he would have the audacity to keep such important information from me and then act like it shouldn’t matter.
I missed out on fifteen months of milestones. I missed the birth of my daughter. I’m already starting off as a horrible father because one person decided that I didn’t deserve to know.
“Look, Holden. You were in witness protection and you needed to keep your head clear. Telling you about a child that may or may not have been yours was only going to compromise your focus. It might have impaired your ability to testify.”
“Because that is all that matters to you. Whether or not I can still do my job with a family.”
Eli nods. “That’s all that should matter to you too.”
“No! My daughter matters to me. I’m done with this shit. Done. You can take whatever mission you have for me and shove it. I will no longer work for a group of people who believes they can meddle in my personal life. I’m done.”
I spin on my heel and walk out, not giving him a chance to say anything. I don’t need or want to hear anything else he could possibly say.
I have to go fix things with Hannah and hope that she doesn’t throw me out for acting like an asshole last night.
As I leave Eli’s office and get into my car, I feel like I’m going to be sick. While I didn’t think that I would continue with my career the way it had been going, I didn’t think I would leave it like this.
My heart is racing as I drive to Preston’s house. I take deep breaths, trying not to throw up as the sudden changes in my life hit me full force.
I cross the small lobby and knock on Preston’s door. No one answers but I keep knocking. The door opens slowly and I gasp when I see the person behind the door. I thought I was prepared but I obviously wasn’t.
Chapter Twelve
Hannah
