Page 59 of Saved by my Baby Daddy Spy
“You did?” My eyebrows shoot up my forehead as I twist in my seat to get a better look at him. “I didn’t think they were the kind of novels you’d read.”
Holden shrugs. “I had a lot of time free time and I couldn’t get you out of my head. Found the first book you ever wrote and then after that, I was hooked. You’re a very talented author, Hannah. You just need to believe in yourself a little more.”
“Sometimes that seems impossible to do.” I lean back in my chair and close my eyes, letting the early rays of sunlight bathe me. “I keep thinking about all the things that could go wrong. It feels like it’s too late in my career to be making this kind of move, but it also feels like I’m going to regret it if I don’t.”
“Then make the move.”
“You make it sound so easy.” I open my eyes and glance over at him. “I wish that I had the confidence you do when it comes to my job. I don’t want to have to start all over again, but I finished the last book in my latest spy series. That published earlier this year. I need something new for next year, but when I think about writing another spy novel, I want to throw up.”
“You have to pursue what you’re passionate about. If a romance novel is what you want to write, then write it. I know it’s going to be amazing, and I will be first in line to get a copy signed.”
My cheeks warm as he smiles at me. It’s the kind of smile that makes me think he truly does believe in me. He thinks that I’m going to succeed.
I need to have that kind of faith in myself. I need to think that everything is going to work out well in the end and it will.
“You don’t have to read the book,” I say as Kerri starts to mumble at us through the baby monitor. “Looks like somebody is awake. I’ll go get her and get her ready.”
“I’ll get breakfast started and we can eat it out here.” Holden gets up and grabs both our mugs while I grab the baby monitor. “Is there anything else you want to do today?”
I shrug and look at him over my shoulder. “I just want to spend some time together as a family before we have to get back to the real world.”
He turns to kiss me quickly. “That sounds perfect to me.”
A few hours later, Kerri is racing around the front yard as fast as her little legs will carry her. Holden laughs as he chases her around, pretending to be a monster. I sit on the front steps, watching them together and wondering how I would ever be able to live a normal life without both of them.
Holden and I might have our problems right now, but if we can get those taken care of, then I know everything is going to be all right. We’re going to be perfect together — at least as perfect as two people can be — once we get over this hump.
He has to want us to work as much as I do, though. If the last week has shown me anything, it’s that he wants us to be together. However, I don’t know if that is going to carry over into our lives once we get back home.
It’s easy to make countless promises when they’re whispered against bare skin under the stars, but it’s harder to hold to those promises in real life.
“Let’s get Mom!” Holden shouts, grabbing Kerri and holding her up high.
She shrieks with laughter as I get up from the porch and start to run around the front yard. Holden chases me, making airplane noises as he sails Kerri through the sky toward me.
I dodge them, hiding behind a tree and popping out on either side. Kerri claps her hands and laughs as Holden puts her down.
Kerri follows behind me as I pretend to run. Her little arms wrap around my legs. I pretend to fall to the ground, scooping her up at the same time and holding her to my chest. She laughs as I roll around, tickling her until she gets up and runs away again.
As Holden chases after her, I sit up and run my hand through my hair. He seems to transform into an entirely different person where she is concerned. He laughs and plays with her, not a care in the world. I watch him toss her over his shoulder, spinning around in rapid circles until he’s stumbling.
If I had tried harder and longer to get in contact with Holden, he would have known about her a lot sooner. He might not have missed as much of her life as he did.
The familiar feelings of guilt start to wash over me as Kerri takes off to play with some of her dolls near the tree. Holden comes to sit beside me, stretching his legs out in front of him.
“Hannah, you’ve got freaking-out face again.”
I stick my tongue out at him before sighing. “How often do you think about what life would have been like if I had been able to tell you about Kerri sooner?”
Holden sucks in a breath before exhaling hard. “I don’t know. At least once a day. I don’t blame you, though. You know that, right? You tried everything you could. I would have given up on me too. I do think about it, though.”
“I don’t know if we would have been good together then. You would have been traveling for work and I would have been dealing with a newborn, thinking that you were never going to come home.”
He nods and moves until he is lying on the grass, his head in my lap. “I’m not a man who believes in destiny, but I have to admit that there is something that keeps pulling us back together. I only came back to take care of my friend while he was in the hospital, and then I saw you again and found out I had a daughter.”
“You think that things happened the way they were supposed to?”
Holden nods, reaching up to hold my hand. “I’m sure that they did. We have a beautiful daughter together. How could the universe not want us to be together for her? She deserves everything the world has to offer her.”
