Page 53 of Saved by my Baby Daddy Spy
“I’ll tell you what I know.” Audrey smiles and grabs my hand, pulling me closer to her. She takes my glass of water and puts it on the coffee table before pulling my head into her lap. Her fingers comb through my hair like she used to do when we were little, bringing a sense of peace to my rioting mind.
“What’s that?”
“Men can be stupid creatures. There is no doubt in my mind that he loves you and Kerri, but whatever is going on in his head is clouding that. You’ve told him what you need multiple times; he just has to figure out how to do that.”
“So you think that I should just sit around and wait for him to get his act together?”
Doing that doesn’t seem like the right answer. I don’t want to sit around and wait for a time when he might decide that being part of a family is really what he wants.
I don’t want to hold him back from his dreams, either. I know that his work is important to him and I know how much I would hate it if someone asked me to take a step back.
Except that’s what’s been happening. He asked me to move in with him, saying that we would both get what we need and want out of the situation. He promised to be there to help me and has instead left me to figure it all out on my own.
At least when I was living with Audrey, I had actual help.
“It’s not that he isn’t a great dad,” I say, still trying to sort through my feelings. “When he’s home and not locked away in his office, he’s a great father to Kerri and he’s a great partner. The problem is that on the nights he does come home on time, he locks himself away in his office if I don’t already have plans to work.”
“I think you need to sit him down and have a frank conversation with him.” Audrey continues combing her fingers through my hair. “You need to tell him everything that is going on in your head. Tell him that you have your doubts about moving forward. You two will either come to a compromise and he will figure out how to have it all, or he won’t.”
I sigh, tears burning my eyes. Though I know she’s right, everything about this relationship is more difficult than she makes it seem. “I don’t know what will happen if we can’t work it out.”
“You move back in with me and I get to spend my days loving on my niece as much as possible before she becomes a teenager who wants nothing to do with us.”
I laugh, though a tear slips down my cheek. “I don’t want to be a burden to you. You already have a full house. You don’t need two more people underfoot all the time.”
“Nonsense.” Audrey starts to braid my hair. “I love having you around. When else do we really get to sit and talk like this? I love our conversations.”
I sigh and close my eyes, taking a moment to just enjoy my time with her. When I open my eyes, nothing about my life is clear, but I do feel a bit better.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“You’re a good mother and a good person. You’re going to do whatever is best for your family, whatever that looks like to you.”
Though it’s sound advice, I’m still torn about the best thing to do.
Chapter Nineteen
Holden
Theweightofmydeception hangs heavy as I prepare to leave the house. Hannah's trusting gaze and Kerri's innocent laughter echo in my mind, intensifying the guilt that churns within. I lied to Hannah about the server breaking down so I have a reason to get out of the house.
I grip the steering wheel, glancing at the GPS coordinates on the dashboard screen. The city lights blurring into streaks of color as I navigate the empty streets. My mind, however, is anything but clear. The confirmation from Rigby of inquiries into my whereabouts has added a new layer of urgency to my late-night endeavors. I can't shake the feeling that I'm being watched, that the shadows of my past are closing in faster than I can outrun them.
Once at the office, the sterile hum of fluorescent lights greets me as I step through the glass doors. The security team nods in acknowledgment, accustomed to my late-night arrivals. The surveillance room becomes my sanctuary, a place where I can monitor the city's pulse and stay one step ahead of any potential threats.
I lean against the console, watching the array of screens displaying different parts of the city. My thoughts drift to the night I found the flash drive hidden behind the wall in my family vacation home in Italy. The revelation that my dad's plane crash wasn't an accident, that his work on sustainable energy was the target, and the dangerous secrets the drive held – they all fuel the fire of my determination to keep Hannah and Kerri safe.
My second-in-command, Mia, approaches with a tablet in hand, her expression eager. "Holden, we've got a lead on Ludwig . Surveillance cameras caught him entering a warehouse in the industrial district."
I nod curtly, my mind already dissecting the information. "Get a team ready. I want eyes on him at all times, but no direct confrontation. We need to know his game before making a move."
Mia rushes off to organize the team, leaving me to grapple with the shadows of my past. The specter of Ludwig looms over me, a threat that refuses to be ignored.
I found out from Eli that Ludwig Mikhailov has been looking for me. Ludwig is Vladimir Mikhailov’s younger brother, with the same ties to the Russian mafia. He was released from prison a month ago for “good behavior.” I shake my head,what a joke.
Ludwig was the one making inquires about me and my family. I have to get rid of him sooner rather than later.
As I delve deeper into the operation, my focus slips briefly, the image of Kerri's innocent smile flashing before me. I hadn't planned for fatherhood, but the moment I lay eyes on the toddler, a fierce protective instinct takes root. The juxtaposition of danger and domesticity haunts me.
