Page 39 of Enemies with my Bestie’s Brother
“It’s not ‘just Whitney’ Grayson, it’s always Whitney. Look, it’s obvious to me that things aren’t going to get done on your part until you get whatever you’re thinking about off your mind. So, why don’t we take a small lunch break and you can tell me what's going through your head?”
Landon is looking at me expectantly, waiting for my answer.
“Yeah, that sounds good actually. Let’s do that,” I respond as I nod and stand up to head to the kitchen.
On the menu today is leftover lasagna from the lunch that Mom brought us yesterday. I didn’t feel like lasagna yesterday or today, for that matter. But, when your mom brings you lunch, you don’t say no. Or at least, Landon and I don’t. Landon slaps two servings on a plate and puts them in the microwave before turning to look at me. After a silent moment, he raises his eyebrows. I sigh before I respond.
“Okay, I guess that the problem is that I don’t know if I can trust Whitney.”
“Trust Whitney with what?”
“I mean trust Whitney in a relationship.”
My tone is a bit sarcastic, but I felt that what I meant should be obvious.
“What makes you think that you can’t?” he asks as his forehead wrinkles.
He shoves his hands in his pockets and leans back against the counter as the microwave counts down.
“It’s nothing she’s done. But all the women that I’ve been with were using me in some way. Like Annette, who kept pressuring me to invest money in the convertible heel-purse idea.”
“Convertible heel-purse?”
“They were small purses that converted into high heels. They were incredibly tiny and help carry little more than a couple of dollars and some cards, but she thought they were genius. They weren’t, and I told her as much after getting tired of her asking. Then there was Bella, who only wanted to date me so that she could get closer to Penny and become a model.”
“You’ve admittedly not had the best luck with women. It’s unfortunate, but it’s not really a reason for you to mistrust Whitney. She had nothing to do with either of those women.”
He pulls his plate out of the microwave before throwing two more servings onto another plate and putting it in the microwave for me.
“I know she didn’t, but I just can’t help the thoughts poking around in the back of my brain, telling me she’ll do the same thing.”
“You know, I think it’s good that you recognize that she didn’t do anything. But, I still think you’re judging Whitney because she comes from humble beginnings and isn’t rich. Penny told you that she had to beg Whitney to do it, and Whitney was adamant that she didn’t want to take advantage of Penny for her connections. You know how Penny is, though. She’s going to bulldoze and get what she wants, and what she wanted was to help her best friend. You’re doing Whitney a disservice by comparing her to the other women you’ve been with.”
I stare at Landon as the microwave beeps. He’s right, and I know he’s right, but I just can’t shake the feeling. It’s like it’s embedded in my bones.
“I am doing her a disservice. Maybe I should take back what I said. Maybe I’m just not ready to be in a relationship with anyone, much less with Whitney.”
“Maybe you’re a coward,” Landon says as he takes a spoonful of lasagna.
I blink, surprised by his response.
“I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”
“Maybe you’re a coward. Actually, you are a coward, always backing out when the going gets tough. You can’t take back professing your feelings for someone, and I mean that both literally and figuratively. Even if you go up to her and say ‘never mind,’ your previous words are still there; they were still said. You owe it to yourself and to Whitney to honor what you told her, even if you’re scared.”
“I wouldn’t describe it as scared. I’d describe it more as cautious,” I say before starting on my lasagna.
It’s still cold in the middle, but it didn’t bother me. I was just so caught up in the conversation that I forgot to mention anything to Landon.
“Use whatever word you want to describe it, Grayson, but we both know that it’s stone-cold fear. You’re too scared to jump in and risk your heart for something real with Whitney. If you take back what you said, all you’re going to do is ruin any chance you could have at a real relationship with her. If you’re okay with those consequences, then yeah, go ahead and take it back. It’s not like anyone is stopping you.”
I chew a spoonful of lasagna as I think about what he says. I hate to admit that he’s right, but I am scared. I’m completely terrified of being used or hurt again. But, I don’t want to be scared anymore. More importantly, I definitely don’t want to lose Whitney because I’m a coward.
“Thanksforcomingoverto talk, Whitney.”
“Well, it’s not like I was going to say no, was I?” she asks sarcastically as I lead her to the completed whiskey lounge.
We take a seat on the leather couch together.
