Page 53 of Ruin
I turn my gaze to him. “Are you serious right now?”
He shrugs, bringing the glass to his lips. All too quickly, I’m assaulted with memories of how he tasted. Of how soft his lips are. The way they felt not only on mine, but along my stomach, my back, my ribs, my neck… my dick.
“I’m trying to be nice,” he says, putting his wine glass down and folding his hands together to rest on the table.
“Nice?” I scoff. “I don’t want you to be nice.”
“Then what do you want me to be, Kolton?”
His voice is too kind, too soft, too… it’s just too fucking much.
I get up from the table and go into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me. I rest my head against it and pull in shaky breath after shaky breath.
I need to tell him to leave. I need him out of my house. I can’t have him here. It’s fucking me up. It’s unearthing things I don’t want to fucking feel.
The problem is, I do want to feel them. I want him too much because I remember what it’s like to be his. How can I so easily throw away the years of pain, just because he’s standing right in front of my face again? It’s pathetic. I’m fucking pathetic. Weak, too.
I miss him so much it hurts, even after all these years and seeing him like this is too much. I know better than to give into him, but he’s too tempting to ignore. He has to leave.
I tear the door open and storm back into the dining room.
“I need you to leave,” I growl.
“Okay,” he says and gets to his feet.
My heart is pounding, my chest heaving, my voice oddly calm.
“I can’t do this with you, Lucian,” I say, though I don’t know why I’m saying it. He said okay. He is leaving. I can shut my mouth and leave it alone. “I can’t have you here,” I add. And of course, he just looks at me with that fucking look that makes me even weaker than I already am.
“I’m just trying to help.”
“Well, you’re not helping,” I hiss. “You’re… fucking with my head.”
“That isn’t my intention.”
“It wasn’t your intention to break my fucking heart, yet you did that too!”
My hands ball into fists at my sides, and it takes everything in me not to lose it completely. The only thing stopping me is the pregnant girl upstairs. I don’t want to scare her. She doesn’t know me, and the last thing she needs is another big man yelling.
“You’re right.” He moves closer to me. I should step away, but I don’t move. I can’t. “I did do that, and I’m sorry. I broke your heart, Kolton, and I can’t begin to express how sorry I am for it. But you know what?” I grit my teeth and swallow hard. “I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to put it back together because that’s what you deserve.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, something close to a whimper leaving me. A moment later, the door opens and closes, but even with him gone, I still can’t fucking breathe.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Kolton
It’s two days before Lucian comes back. He rings the bell, and I pull open the door, nearly falling to my knees because he looks so fucking good. Grey slacks. Black button down with the sleeves neatly rolled up.
I hate it.
He smiles at me brightly, as if I’m just an old friend he’s happy to see.
“May I come in?”
I nod and step aside.
“How has she been?” he asks, shoving his hands into his pockets as he turns to face me. I ignore the bulge between his legs, ignore the way my mouth waters as I recall the sweet taste of him. His pleas for more ring through my head, and I force those out too.
