Page 29 of Ruin
Me: No problem
The text bubbles bounce for a while as he types something. He better not be drinking and getting all sappy and shit. The text that comes through isn’t what I’m expecting.
Jeremy: I think we should stop.
I have mixed feelings about that.
Yes, we probably should. But he’s an escape, and if there’s anything I need in this life, it’s an escape. I won’t talk him into sticking around though. It is the right thing to do. Though I can look the other way when it comes to my moralssometimes, I’m not the kind of person who will talk someone into doing something shitty. And what he was doing was certainly shitty.
Me: I agree.
It takes a moment, but he sends another text.
Jeremy: It’s not you. I just feel bad, you know? I have a wife and kids. I should focus on them.
Me: Yes, you should.
Jeremy: I’m sorry.
I roll my eyes.
Me: No need. It was fun. Good luck with your marriage.
The dots bounce again but a text never comes through. If I were a betting man, I’d bet he’ll text me within three months. But betting is for idiots.
Chapter Twelve
Kolton
I wake up to a text from Lucian on Saturday morning.
I sit on the edge of my bed, staring down at my phone, wondering how I should respond.
Lucian: You should have taken more.
It’s just like him to make a comment like that. He always was good at taking blame for his actions, as if that made it all better. Spoiler: it doesn’t. Not even close. In fact, it makes it worse. Apologies only mean something if they never do it again.
Let me break your heart and then give you thirty thousand dollars as an apology.
Doesn’t he realize his money has never been what I wanted?
That’s what hurts the most. Because he does know. He knows very well that I don’t care about his money. All I ever caredabout was him. All I ever wanted was him. His attention, his mind, his love.
But that’s the kicker. He knew and he could have given me what I wanted, but he chose not to. He consciously made a choice and I wasn’t it.
I drop the phone onto my bed and get up to head into the bathroom connected to my bedroom for a quick shower. After getting dressed and eating breakfast, I head out to the clubhouse because Saturday morning is Church, and if I’m late for that, Prez may have my head.
Not that I really care about that, yet… I’m on my way just the same.
Thankfully, I’m not the last one to show up, and so I don’t earn more glares than I usually do.
The guys are like a big family, and there’s no hiding that I’m on the other side of their fence. We get along well enough, but I have no interest in partying with them or hanging out with them. I don’t like spending nights at the bar, getting wasted and fucking around with whatever girls show their faces. It has nothing to do with me being gay and more to do with me not wanting to socialize. I do it on the off occasion, when I’ve had a rough day and need to drink. It’s safer to do it around people because when I do it alone, I do stupid shit. Though I don’t really care what happens to me, I do worry about what I’d do to someone else. I’m reckless when alcohol is involved, so I try to be responsible with it and drink with others.
“So, now that I have everyone’s full attention,” Prez starts, leaning back in his chair like a lazy slob. “Let’s get into the details. Snapper, what do you have?”
The doc is already open on my laptop, so I go over the numbers I have.
“If we’re looking at getting ten additional people on the line per night, we will need an additional hundred and fifty grand a month.”
