Page 24 of Ruin
He pulls into the lot a few moments after me, and my stomach drops, my mind going to all the times I met him here in the middle of the night without a single other soul knowing. It was our spot. Everything happened here. All of our firsts. Right here, in this parking lot.
I shake the thoughts from my head when I hear a car door shut. I see him standing outside of his car, hands shoved in his pockets. I hate that I can see the outline of his cock from here. He’s a big man with a big dick, and I was such a slut for it. But that’s not me anymore. That’s not what I’m here for.
I leave the headlights on so we can see, but I shut the engine off and get out, holding my head high as I walk around the truck to reach him. At least in the shadow of the night I can hide a little. Maybe he won’t see the weakness I feel. I should have waited until tomorrow to do this, when I was more put together and not still half drunk. Nothing good happens when I’m drunk.
“I wasn’t sure you’d show,” I comment.
“You told me to be here.”
That’s always how it was. One of us said jump, and the other did it. Though, it was mostly one sided. It was mostly me waiting for him to tell me what to do. I was like a dog waiting for scraps, any he was willing to give me. I took them all. I was greedy for them.
Too many times when I asked, I got excuses.
Beth is home, I can’t get away. Beth isn’t feeling well. Beth is mad. Beth wants me to stay in tonight.
Beth, Beth, Beth.
His number one. His priority.
What would she say if she knew her husband liked fucking someone twenty years younger than him in the ass? Doubt she’dapprove, which is, of course, why I was always his dirty little secret.
Eventually, I stopped asking him for things and learned to accept what I was given.
I bite back the words that I really want to say.
If only you were herethatnight.
But that doesn’t matter. That isn’t my life anymore. He isn’t in my life, and he never will be again.
“What am I doing here, Kolton?” he asks, his voice soft and smooth. Calm.
Always so fucking calm.
“I need money.”
His eyes widen. He wasn’t expecting that. Good. I get slight satisfaction over throwing him off his game. I have no idea what he was expecting when coming here if he didn’t think I would ask for money. Surely he can’t think I want to get together with him. That’s absurd.
“You need money?”
“Yes.”
“May I ask what for?”
Interesting that he wants to know what it’s for and not how much. Is what it’s for more important than the amount?
“Does it matter?”
“I’m betting you didn’t call me here to ask for twenty dollars, Kolton. I’m sure it’s a substantial amount. So, yes, it matters.”
Fuck him for knowing me so well. Too fucking well.
“What if it is only twenty dollars?”
“Stop being cute, Kolton.”
He used to like when I was cute.
“What if it was only twenty dollars?” I ask again, this time slower and more stern. I want to know the answer.
