Page 23 of Ruin
“No, I fucking don’t.”
“Yeah, you do.”
“No, Grizz. I fucking do not.”
He gives me a look like he’s only just hearing me for the first time. Like my words are only just settling in. How does anyone even think I care about this place?
“I never wanted anything to do with this fucking club, and the one thing I do like about it, this asshole is now going to control, too? What’s the fucking point?”
“You can do it on your own time.”
“Yeah, and with what resources? This is all I have.” I throw my arms up, letting them fall to my sides. “This is all I fucking have,” I growl. Hating that it’s the truth.
He nods, taking the stool beside me. “Yeah, I know, man. It’s all a lot of us have. Times like this, it’s not a good feeling, butwhen the club is good, then it’s enough, you know? We’re a family.”
“Fuck family. Doesn’t mean shit.”
Grizz takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. He doesn’t say anything else, just sits with me while I drink enough that I can’t sit up straight.
Don’t know how I got home, into bed, or how long I’ve been here. Don’t remember it getting dark outside, but it’s dark now, nearing ten, according to the clock. My head is fucking killing me, so I climb out of bed and pop some pain pills. I know I didn’t clean shit when I came inside, so I run through my normal routine. Strip my clothes. Shower. Clean.
I have to change the sheets on my bed, since I laid on it with my clothes from outside. I never fucking do that, so I know I was fucked when I got here.
Once I finish, I dig through my cabinets for something to eat and make myself a quick chicken alfredo. I hate pre-cooked food, so all of my meals I make from scratch.
As I sit and eat, I think over the day and all the bullshit that happened. It’s not the best time to make a decision on what to do and how I’m going to handle things, but the answer is pokingat my brain. It’s a bad idea, but… if I can get something out of this, I should. I can make my pain worth something.
I finish eating and wash my dishes, then I pick up my phone and stare at the number that has had too much incoming activity. This is a mistake. I’m going to regret it. It’s going to bite me in the ass. But the school, the kids, they need that new library. I started this and I have to finish it. If Prez isn’t going to let me use the resources there, then I guess I will have to use the only one I have in my personal life.
I press the number and bring it to my ear. He answers on the third ring.
“Kolton.”
My eyes fall closed and my jaw clenches. I try to speak, but nothing comes out. Just hearing the way he says my name sends me back, my body reacting.
He knows me well enough to not say anything. He knows me well enough to give me time to find my words. It was never hard to communicate with Lucian because he knew that’s all I needed. I just needed some time to process before I could get the words out of my mouth.
Seconds pass, minutes too, before I finally say something.
“Are you still in town?”
“I am,” he says smoothly.
Always in control.
“Meet me.”
“Where?”
“You know where.” I end the call, shove the phone into my pocket, and grab the keys to my truck before heading out the door. If I don’t go right now, I won’t go at all. And I have to do this.
Chapter Nine
Kolton
I pull into the lot of the park and shut my car off. I rest my head back, wondering what the fuck I’m doing. I knew this was stupid before I did it, yet, I did it anyway. I’m here and don’t plan on leaving until I talk to him. I don’t know what part of my brain is driving me right now, but it’s dangerous.
The ride here took forever, and I considered turning around a minimum of fifty times. But then I reminded myself that I’m not doing it for me, and that’s what kept me going. This will be a short transaction. I tell him I want the money. He gives it to me. Done. That’s it. I’ll never ask him for a thing again.
