Page 137 of Ruin
“We were here for the summer. A cookout at your house. I saw the way he looked at you, and everything fell into place.”
“When?” The word comes out as a whisper.
“About a year after it started, I surmise.”
“Beth, I’m sorry—”
She waves me off. “Don’t be sorry, Kolton. Love is love, is love is love. You can’t help who you have feelings for. Lucian and I had a good life together, but it wasn’t a fairytale love. We were paired together, and sometimes those people are lucky, and sometimes they’re just… surviving. Now don’t get me wrong; I don’t regret our life. We have—” She stops abruptly, then clears her throat. “Had a beautiful son.” Her voice cracks, and she pauses another moment before continuing. “My time with Lucian is over, and I know that I could never make him as happy as you do. I’m okay with that.”
“I don’t understand. Beth,I—”
She gets to her feet and comes to sit beside me, taking my hand in both of hers. It should be weird, letting her touch me, but all I feel is comfort from her.
“Take it from someone who was married to the man for many years. He means well. He thinks he’s doing the right thing. He’s a fixer and wants to make everyone better. He’s a doctor, Kolton. It’s in his blood. But sometimes people make mistakes, sometimes they’re wrong, but he means no harm. I assure you, if you tell him what’s bothering you, he will listen and he will try harder.”
I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. She’s right. I know she’s right.
“Kolton, this man stayed with me for nine years all because he didn’t want me to mourn our son alone. He is dedicated and loyal. And I’ll admit, during that time, I was selfish and I didn’t want to give him up, but we’re past that. He and I are through. It’s your time to be with him, and I came here to wish you the best.”
My eyes pop open and I turn to face her. “You’re serious?”
“Very.”
“Does he know you’re here?”
She laughs. “God no. He’d throw a fit.”
I chuckle and take a deep breath.
“But he knows you’re in town?”
“No,” she says. “I called him about the papers and could tell something was off.”
I nod, staring down at her small hands holding mine. Maybe I had her all wrong. Or maybe Lucian really was right… and I just wouldn’t have understood.
“I’m so sorry about Luke.”
“I know, honey. Me too.”
It’s silent for a while, us just sitting there with each other. It’s oddly comforting.
“It’s a lot, you know,” I finally say.
She nods, giving me a sad smile. “You have pain in your eyes, Kolton. You have since the day your mother passed, and I only saw it grow as the years went on.” She pats my hand, squeezing a little tighter. “Let him heal you, Kolton. Let him help you. Be happy with him.”
I take a deep breath, then do something absolutely crazy.
I lean in to give her a hug.
Chapter Fifty-Seven
Kolton
I see Beth to her car and when it’s disappeared from my view, I head inside to grab my key and jump into my truck. I’m being stupid. What I’m mad about was a misunderstanding. The more I think about it, the more I realize I can’t remember exactly what he said, and maybe I am wrong. Maybe hope blinded me. Maybe I didn’t listen. I just wanted him and us to be together, so that’s all I care about. But more than that? It just doesn’t matter. Who cares what was said? We can move past this. I can’t let more time go by without him. Since he’s been back and we’ve been together, I’ve been better—I’ve been happy. So much of my life has gotten better, because he makes me better. No, it’s not that he makes me better. He gives me a safe space so I can make myself better.
It’s just about noon when I pull into his driveway and park behind his car. Nerves settle in my stomach. I’m not thekind of guy who apologizes for anything. Honestly, I’m not sure I have ever apologized for a thing in my life. Definitely not to anyone other than Lucian, but if I want us to be together, which I really fucking do, I need to stop being so goddamn stubborn.
He’s probably standing inside, watching me. Waiting for me to get out of my car and walk to his door and drop to my knees and grovel.
