Page 114 of Ruin
I press my hands to the sink counter and let my head fall forward. “Stop it, Kaison.”
“I need to say this.”
“You’ve said enough.”
“Well, I’m saying it again, okay? I’m sorry.”
“Stop being sorry!” I shout, whirling to face him. “I don’t need your pity!”
He looks like I slapped him. I wish I would have.
“Is that what you think?”
This conversation sounds so familiar…
“This isn’t pity, Kolton, it’s guilt.”
Fuck, I am so tired of talking about all of this shit.
“What the fuck do you have to feel guilty for? You didn’t do anything!” “Exactly!” he shouts. “That’s exactly what I have to be guilty for. I was in that house while it happened, and though it’s nothing compared to what you went through or how youfeel now, can you imagine how it makes me feel? Maybe you wouldn’t care if it had happened to me but—”
“Of course I would have cared!”
Kaison stops talking and just stares at me. Then a slow smile creeps up along his face. Now that he’s well and truly pissed me off, he’s going to smile like everything is fine.
“Okay, I’ll stop with the emotional shit. I just want you to know that I plan on being the best big brother for the foreseeable future, so you should get used to it.”
I roll my eyes and go to shove past him, knowing it’s the only opportunity I’ll have, but he grabs me and pulls me to him, hugging me.
“I love you, Kolt.”
Tears sting my eyes. I can hardly handle this from Lucian, now I get all this emotional shit from Kaison, too?
I hug him back, though, because maybe I need this too…
“If Cora gets pregnant again, and I’m not the first person you tell, I will kill you.”
He huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, okay. I deserve that.”
He gives me a tight squeeze, then lets me go.
“Thank you,” he says, eyes shining with humor.
I hold up my middle finger right to his face and he slaps it away. I grab my bags and head outside to my truck. I wait for him to say goodbye to Cora, because even she doesn’t know what’s going on. He told her we were going to New York with Coyote. Only when we get to the clubhouse, he’s never going to show… at least, that’s what we’re going to tell people.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Kolton
As my brother and I drive to the clubhouse to meet Coyote, I can’t help but wonder what I would be doing if he hadn’t told us to go with him—if I hadn’t had the conversation with Kaison and let him stay at my house. Would I be lying around and moping because Lucian was gone? Would I be able to function with him so far away? I admit, when I think about it, my chest gets tight, but having a distraction helps. Still, I know it isn’t good to worry so much about Lucian. It’s not healthy to be this needy and obsessed… right?
“Hypothetically speaking,” I begin, causing Kaison to glance at me. “If Cora had to be across the country for work, and you couldn’t go, how would you feel about that?”
“First of all, that wouldn’t happen.”
“I said hypothetically.” I shoot him a glare, holding it for a moment before turning my attention back on the road. The sunis starting to go down, and by the time we get across town to the clubhouse, it’ll be dark.
“Why can’t I go?”
