Page 94 of Ruin
“That’s it, sweet boy. Take your pleasure from me,” he says, lips brushing across my chest. “Use me to feel good. You deserve it.”
I ride him harder, rocking my hips faster so the head of his dick presses against my prostate. My dick bounces, slapping against my stomach. When he wraps his hand around me, I nearly spill, but manage to hold on just a little longer. I don’t want this to end.
And though I know I can do this whenever I want, because I agreed to whatever this is between us, right now it’s different. The feeling and emotion in this moment, it’s something that won’t be replicated. This moment is special. It’s the first time I’m doing this after nine years. The first time after we’vegotten back together. Maybe officially together for the first time, honestly. This moment is pivotal not only in our relationship, but in my life. Because I am fully giving in to him. I am giving him me, which is by far the scariest thing I have ever done. He holds the key to my destruction. He’s done it before. Maybe I’m stupid for doing it, but I guess I’ve never been very smart in these situations, so it’s par for the course.
“Lucian,” I choke out. “Can I come?”
He chuckles, stroking my dick a little faster.
“Yes, baby.”
Stars burst behind my eyes as I come, my body shaking. Moans echo throughout the room, a mix of his and mine. It’s only when I open my eyes that I realize he hasn’t come yet. He’s still hard inside me, staring at me like he’s about to devour me.
“Tell me what you want me to do,” I pant.
He leans upward, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck to pull me down for a soft kiss. “I just want you to love me.”
I suck in a sharp breath and don’t move. Seconds pass, my heart still pounding away.
Finally I say, “I do.”
I hear the sigh of relief leave him. It warms my chest.
“I always have,” I add.
The smile on his lips is soft and sad. He kisses me one more time before pulling away.
“I don’t know what you’ve done to me, but I am obsessed with you.”
There isn’t a single thing on his face that tells me he’s lying, not that I think he would. Not about that. He always showed how much he wanted me, even then. He was insatiable and desperate and needy. It’s another thing that kept me holding on. There was something about me that he just had to have. Those sort of cravings don’t go away. Maybe this whole time, I knew he would come back to me at some point. Maybe I waited for it. Or maybe I’m just trying to make the last nine years of misery seem not so bad so I don’t resent him.
I move my hips forward a little. “Make me feel it tomorrow.”
His gaze turns dark, and he flips me over with strength I didn’t expect from him. His dick falls out in the process, but once he’s behind me, he shoves it right back in, leaning over me with all his weight. I’m pressed flat to the bed, and it’s hard to breathe.
“Anything you want,” he whispers, and then he fucks me until his cum is deep inside me.
And I definitely feel it the next day.
Chapter Forty
Kolton
I reach Kaison’s house just as the last bit of sunlight leaves the sky. I say it’s his house because he’s the one who stayed here all these years, but technically, it’s both of ours. I just want nothing to do with it. He doesn’t either, I guess, since he and his girlfriend are building a new house.
They’ve cleared out a patch of woods a short distance away, still on the same property, only completely separate from this clearing. They’re building a separate driveway, and it’ll be more hidden the way mine is. It’s not difficult to get privacy around here considering the amount of woods everywhere.
I hadn’t considered what Kaison would do with this house after they moved. Rent it out maybe. Sell it. I don’t know, and I don’t care. I moved out of the house shortly after our father died, when I knew I no longer had to stay. Why I let him control me for so long is beyond me. I like to think if he were here now, I’d knock him the fuck out, but I know that probably isn’t true.There was a fear there. Something more than fear, too. I’m not really sure how to explain it. Disgust maybe? This toxic mix of anger, resentment, disgust, and hatred.
Maybe that’s what it is. Maybe it wasn’t just fear, but hatred. So much that I couldn’t even be next to him. I don’t know, and it doesn’t matter. He’s dead and gone.
“Why am I here?” I ask when I throw my leg off my bike. The porch light is on, the only light to see by. It’s cloudy and so the light of the moon is no help.
“Let’s call it brotherly bonding,” he says with a smirk.
“I’m not making out with you under a tree,” I say.
He barks out a laugh. “You made a joke.”
