Page 34 of Ruin
“Mutual?” he bellows, pulling his arm out of my grip. “Mutual?” he repeats. “He’s twenty fucking years older than you, Kolton, and you’re telling me it wasmutual? When did it start?” He steps up to me again and I don’t back down. I’m not afraid of Kaison, I just wish he wasn’t in my face. I don’t like people soclose. “When the fuck did it start?” he seethes, his words slow and deadly.
My brother is ready to go to war for me. He’s ready to gut Lucian, if I were to say something he didn’t like. If I were to lie, right this very second, and tell Kaison something awful, he would kill Lucian without a second thought. That has my respect for him growing. And maybe I like him a little bit more.
The beginning of the summer is always the worst for me when it comes to my trauma. It’s like the warm air brings in the haunting memories because the abuse from my father was always worse then, since I wasn’t in school. He didn’t have to worry about hiding bruises or going easy enough that I could sit down. I was home. No one had to see me. It was safe. This year is no different. Summer comes, and so does my foul mood. Had Kaison not pushed me so hard this year, maybe I’d never have told him my secrets at all.
Maybe I should give Kaison more of a chance. He is my brother. We share DNA. He’s ready to murder someone for me, more so than he would for anyone else in this club. I don’t have anyone at my back and though I don’t want to spill all my secrets to him, I could give him something.
“Nineteen.”
His face turned confused. “You sure about that?”
I nod. “Positive.”
I remember it vividly. And I wish Ididn’t.
He lets out a whoosh of air before looking up at the ceiling. “Kolton,” he starts before looking down at me. “You gotta tell me what happened, man. This is big and I can’t ignore it.”
“It’s nothing,” I say, turning and walking over to the cabinet I keep my laptop in. I pull it out and set it on the table, then take a seat.
“It’s not nothing.”
I hear his words, but I don’t acknowledge him. I need to figure out how I’m going to say this, if anything at all. My laptop loads up, I put in my password, and open the program I need. Kaison is still standing there, staring at me. I know it’s only a moment before someone else shows up. This place is never quiet for long.
When there’s nothing left for me to busy myself with, knowing I won’t get any work done with him staring at me like this, I speak.
“I started it. He fought it at first, but eventually gave in. We snuck around for years. Then it ended.”
“Whoa,” he says, taking a step forward. “Slow down and give me more than that.”
“No,” I grit out, flipping through the tabs on my spreadsheet just to do something.
“Kolton—”
“I gave you all I can give you, Shark. I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to remember any of the shit that happened to me then. Not him. Not dad. Nothing. So please, just fuck right off with this brotherly bonding bullshit.”
Kaison stumbles back as if I’ve wounded him. He doesn’t even try to pretend he isn’t offended. But he does nod and leaves me alone.
Problem is now I’m so pissed off I can’t focus on what I need to do.
Chapter Fifteen
Kolton
Twenty years old…
I pull into the parking lot of the shitty motel just outside of Pinehaven. Our town is so small we don’t have our own motel, not that anyone would want to stay in town anyway. There’s nothing to do here, no tourist attractions, no fun. Anyone who comes into town who doesn’t live here stays with family. There’s no other reason to visit.
I shut my truck door and walk over to room nine. I’m in plain clothes, not wanting anyone to recognize me or where I come from. It’s bad enough we’re close enough to town that someone could know me anyway. If it gets out what we’re doing, my father will flip his fucking lid. I’d have nowhere to go. The last thing I need is someone to see a young Hell’s Mayhem member meeting up with a married guy in a motel room.
I knock on the door and shove my hands into my pockets as I wait for him to open it. There are plenty of times we do this in his car in the park. But when he has time, he gets us a room at this shitty motel. He pays extra for them to clean it well. Not that I care what it looks like—I just want to be with him. Things will be better once we’re out of this town altogether and in a place we no longer have to hide.
Lucian pulls the door open, giving me a tired smile. I know that smile—it’s notmysmile. He’s been fighting with his wife. I hate that he’s upset, but I know just the way to make him feel better.
I step inside, hands going for his slacks as the door falls closed. He buries his face in my neck, breathing me in while I get his pants open.
I spin him, so his back is against the door, then I drop to my knees and take him into my mouth.
“You know just how to make me feel good, Kolton,” he says as his fingers comb through my hair.
