Page 106 of Ruin
“Kolton,” he says, stepping toward me and reaching for my arm, but I yank it away.
“No, fuck you,” I say, shaking my head.
“Kolton,” he says more firmly, but I step back more. I’m trying to run away, to leave before he can leave meagain, but I barely get anywhere.
“Baby, stop,” Lucian says calmly as he comes around to stand in front of me. He moves to get into my line of sight and says, “I’m coming back.”
“What?” I breathe out, blinking to clear my vision.
“I have to go to Seattle for a conference, but I’m coming back.”
“You’re coming back?” I repeat his words, but I don’t believe them.
“Yes.”
“I’ve heard that before.”
Lucian sighs, putting his hands in his pockets and watching me carefully.
There’s something about his approach to me that always has me thinking out my reactions. He isn’t reactive. He’s patient and in control, and that makes it both difficult and easy to yell at him and lose my cool. Easy because he doesn’t put up a fight, but I know I’m going to feel stupid afterbecausehe isn’t putting up a fight. And that has me hesitant to lose my shit.
Even though I don’t trust him, part of me does. Part of me knows what I can expect from him. He’s safe. He’s always been my safe place.
“Yes, you have,” he finally says calmly. “And I didn’t come back.”
My throat gets tight, and tears sting my eyes.
“But I’m coming back this time, Kolton.” He steps closer to me, hands coming out of his pockets to rest on the sides of my neck and hold me in place to look at him. “I am coming back to you, always.”
“But—”
“No,” he says with a slight shake of his head. “I am coming back to you, Kolton. I’ll be gone for only two days.”
“Two days?” I ask.
He nods.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask him if I can go with him, but if he wanted me to go, he’d ask. No, he’d tell me. So that means he doesn’t want me to go, and that has a whole other swell of anger rising in my chest.
“Why don’t you want me to go with you?” I ask, waiting for the gut punch I know is coming.
Lucian isn’t really a liar. He gives the truth even when it isn’t pretty. I know what he’s about to say is something I’m not going to like.
The only lie he ever told me was when he said he’d be back for me. Other than that, it was just… empty promises.
“Because you need to learn that what I say is the truth. You need to learn that this isn’t before. I am leaving, but I will come back.”
“No, I—”
“Kolton,” he says, moving even closer. I grip onto his hips, not wanting him to leave. Not now, not like this, not after the day I had. I’m too in my head. Sitting at the park for hours did nothing to make me feel better. It only made me feel worse, and now he’s going to leave me for two days.
“What am I going to do without you?” I ask.
“Whatever you want. You can stay here if you’d like.”
I look past him at the house, at all the unfinished things. I don’t know how I feel about staying here. All my things are at my place.
When I say nothing, he says, “I’m leaving in the morning.”
