Page 75 of Stowaway Whirlwind
Forever.
Davis
My cheeks ache with the smile I can’t stop wearing. Violet has gathered half the town for our wedding, including every emergency responder who showed up to help us the night Lily was kidnapped. We’ve reserved three chairs at the front,each with a gold framed photograph—one of my mother in her wedding dress, staring at my dad; one of my dad in his tux, staring softly at my mother; and one of Aunt Lydia’s glamour photos from when she was in high school that Goldie had tucked away in her backpack.
The only time my smile falters is when I spot Goldie’s dad standing to the side of the reception venue, shaded beneath a large Magnolia tree. He’s dressed in a nice black suit, one hand scrubbing his chin. I open my mouth to tell Goldie to look up as we start walking down the aisle away from the altar, but he shakes his head. He holds up what looks to be an envelope, then lowers it to the ground, propping it against the wall, then turns and disappears toward the parking lot.
I reach for Lily in her pink dress as we pass Layla, who Russell hasn’t been able to keep his eyes off of on the other side of the aisle. I smile proudly while holding Lily in one arm, slipping the other around Goldie’s waist as the wedding photographer walks backward, taking shot after shot of the three of us—four, technically.
At the end of the aisle, I turn Goldie around and dip her with a kiss, Lily between us, knowing this will be the picture I’ll blow up to the largest size available to hang in our living room. Maybe also our bedroom. Also, Lily’s future room and the nursery and…
Since we can’t do the traditionalFather-DaughterorMother-Sondances, we’ve gone with the next best thing—Goldie dances with Ms. Judy, and I dance with Amanda.
Amanda clears her throat and looks at my chin. “I, uh, took care of Dad’s remaining medical bills as my wedding present to you and Goldie.”
I come to an abrupt spot. “You did?”
She urges me on. “Don’t make a big deal about it.”
“Amanda, this is a big deal. You didn’t have to do that.”
She shakes her head. “I should have done it a long time ago. You have Goldie and Lily to focus on, and you shouldn’t have had to carry the burden of—”
“Taking care of family is never a burden.”
She finally looks up, tears brimming her lower lashes. “All the same…I’m sorry. I should have done my part.”
I chew my cheek and hope this time she’ll finally answer my question after almost twenty years. “Why did you stay away? Did Dad do something…” My heart squeezes in my chest.
Amanda drops her forehead on my shoulder, and I pull her closer. “No. I just…I didn’t want to face him. See how disappointed he’d be.” I stay silent, giving her space to build up to what she wants—needs—to say. “I was pregnant,” she whispers.
An electric shock jolts down my spine, and I almost can’t believe what I heard. “Pregnant? You had a baby?” I can’t make sense of it. I don’t think there’s anything else she could have said that would have knocked me off my feet more than this.
She shakes her head, turning to lay her cheek against me while I rub her back as her shoulders start shaking. “No. I lost it right before I left.”
“Was it Roman’s?”
She sniffles and nods. “That’s why we broke up.”
I plant my feet, hot anger sweeping through me, and my muscles tense, gearing up for a fight. “I’ll kill him.” I start to pull away, swinging my gaze around until I find her husband standing off to the side, talking to Wyatt. His brows go up at the murderous look on my face.
Amanda grabs my wrist and digs her heels in. “No!” She lowers her voice with a frantic tone. “He didn’t break up with me because I was pregnant. I broke up with him!”
“What? Why?”
Amanda pulls me further away to the other side of the dance floor and down a short hallway. “Because I thought it was my fault I lost the baby. He didn’t even know I’d gotten pregnant.”
I rub my brow, more confused than ever. “How the hell was it your fault?”
“Because I didn’t want it. Not at the time. Not when I was planning to go to college and eventually on to medical school. I couldn’t have done all that with a baby. At least, I didn’t think so.” She shoves her hands in her hair and walks off a ways. “And Dad would have blown a gasket if he found out I’d gotten pregnant ‘out of wedlock’. He’d have disowned me if I told him I was thinking of getting an abortion.”
As much as I’d like to tell her she’s wrong, I know she’s not. There’s no doubt that our Dad loved us, but he had his faults, some worse than others. His reaction and harsh judgment would have hurt Amanda more than Amanda hurt him when she went all the way to Michigan instead of a school close to home, as planned, without explanation.
I don’t even have to ask why she kept it a secret from me at the time. I would have pushed her to tell Dad the truth. We both know it.
I’ve never seen such anguish toward oneself on a person’s face when she says, “And then, I lost it, and I was devastated. I didn’t know I’d react that way. And I…I couldn’t tell Roman what I’d done. So I broke up with him. He deserved better—”
Roman comes charging out of the shadows with his finger pointed at Amanda with his own anguished expression, tears slipping down his cheeks. “All this time, you’ve been carrying this on your shoulders? Thinking you somehow caused a miscarriage?”
