Page 36 of Stowaway Whirlwind
“Goldie,” he tries again and then flicks on the overhead light, momentarily blinding me. Had he rushed me again, I’m certain I would have blown a hole through his chest. Instead, he stands still as a statue, both arms back in the air as I take him in.Disheveled, thinner than he was last time I saw him, ball cap pulled low over his overgrown hair, with bags under his eyes.
“Davis?” I carefully flick the safety back on and set the gun down in the drawer before collapsing to my knees on the carpet with Lily held tight to my chest. I cry through the terror and adrenaline still coursing through my veins. Cry through the relief that he’s not a burglar or kidnapper or worse. Cry through the sleep deprivation that leaves me feeling more like a shell of myself than a real person.
Davis crashes to his knees in front of me and wraps his arms around my back, pulling us into his large body. “Yeah, baby, it’s me. I’m sorry I scared you.”
We’ve only spoken twice on the phone, and I’ve missed his voice. I’ve missedhimmore than I even realized.
“Davis.” His name on my lips is one of longing. I sink into him, breathing in his comforting, masculine scent. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home?”
He kisses the crown of my head. I should probably push him away, but I’m overwhelmed at seeing him, of being held by him, and it nearly knocks the breath out of my lungs. I’ve tried so hard to be strong, butgod, all I want is to let him hold me for the rest of my life. Hold all my pieces together and tell me I don’t have to be alone anymore. Do everything by myself or face Colton’s unhinged mother on my own.
“I tried to, baby, but you never picked up after I got service again. You scared the hell out of me. I didn’t know where you were.” I must have had my phone on silent.
Davis stands with me and Lily in his arms and settles onto the edge of the bed with us on his lap. I curl into him and push my face into his neck, holding Lily between us with one arm and circling his shoulders with the other, slipping my hand into the soft hair at his nape. I allow him to wrap his arms tighter around us until I can’t cry any more tears. Lily settles, just as comfortedby his presence as I am. I even let him tip my chin up and kiss me once on the lips, and when he pulls back a fraction, I tighten my grip in his hair to extend the kiss.God, I’ve missed that too.
I part my lips for his tongue and feel his cock swell beneath my ass. I squirm, trying to get closer, and moan as I slant my head to the side to deepen the kiss. One of his hands drifts to my ass, and he squeezes my cheek. Hard.
That’s what snaps me back to reality. Memories of the morning Davis left and his regret at being with me take hold. It’s precisely because I want to continue sinking into the solid heat of him that I force myself to slide off his lap and step away.
Davis reluctantly drops his arms and sighs, takes off his ball cap to run his hands through his thick strands, then drags his palms down his face with his beard having grown out. He somehow looks as worn out and fried as I do, even though he hasn’t been up with a newborn at all hours of the night.
I look away from the intensity of his green gaze as I lay Lily on the white diaper-changing dresser Davis also bought, which I have arranged next to her crib. With a flat voice, as I clean her up and put on a fresh diaper, I tell Davis over my shoulder, “Your new bed was delivered last week. I didn’t put sheets on it yet since I didn’t know exactly when you would be home.” I didn’t know if he even planned on coming back—if the texts he sent about being delayed due to the weather were a lie.
“We need to talk about what we’re going to do with your dad and Colton’s mother,” he says.
“Not tonight. We can talk in the morning.” I zip Lily back into her purple sleep sack and kiss her forehead.
“This can’t wait, Goldie.”
“It’sMarigold, and I said not tonight,” I snap without looking at him. I pick my way to the right side of the bed, closest to the bathroom door, and slide under the comforter to sit withmy back against the headboard. The mattress shifts as he stands, and figuring he’s going to leave, I lift my shirt so Lily can nurse.
I wince and suck in a pained breath when she latches onto my left breast, then jolt and look up when Davis says, “What was that? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
Davis frowns, kicks off his cowboy boots, and climbs onto the bed to sit by my side in his dark jeans and solid caramel brown button-down. He slides his fingers over Lily’s curly wisps of hair. “I can’t believe how big she’s gotten.” There’s a quiver to his tone, and when we make eye contact, his are shiny with unshed tears. “I’ve missed so much.”
“Yeah. That tends to happen when people leave for weeks at a time. Babies grow up. Life goes on without them. Just ask my dad.” I sound bitter and feel ugly inside, but some of the tension I’ve been shouldering lifts as soon as I say it.
Davis sounds defeated when he says, “That’s not fair. It’s my job. I had to leave.”
I drop my head back when I see the wounded look on his handsome face that I wish Ididn’tstill find so attractive. “I’m sorry. I know it’s your job. And I know I don’t have any right to be upset.”
I feel so stupid getting upset when he’s been so generous in letting us stay here rent-free, paying for our groceries and diapers. We have heat and water, a roof over our heads, and warm beds, and I didn’t have to do a thing to earn any of it.
Davis leans back, too, thumping his head against the headboard. “Maybe you do—have the right, I mean. After the way I left.” He sighs.
“I just don’t understand why. We could have talked about what happened, but you shut me out. Ran away and only texted to yell at me and tell me what to do. Why?” I hate how my voice cracks at the end of it. So small and weak.
“You know why,” he says quietly, tugging his top out of his waistband and unbuttoning it from the top down. “You should hate me.”
“I don’t hate you. I’m royally pissed off, but I don’t think I could everhateyou,” I admit, though I wish I did. I’m tired of giving the benefit of the doubt to those who have left me behind. I’ve had enough of that to last me a lifetime.
After a beat of silence, Davis releases a long sigh. He shrugs his top off and throws it over the side of the bed, though he leaves his white undershirt on. “Why didn’t you call the cops on me? I kept waiting for them to show up,” he whispers. “Almost hoped they would.”
“I would never do that to you.”
“Why the hell not? I was the monster who…Jesus, Goldie, I raped you,” he says with a raspy voice barely louder than a whisper. “And I’m so goddamned sorry. No one would blame you for using that gun on me if you told them the truth.”
