Page 87 of Atlas
“Oh, shit, Rue,” mutters Lexi, giving my arm a gentle squeeze. “I’m so sorry.”
“Is there no hope you two will sort things out?” asks Duchess.
I shake my head again. “No,” I almost whisper.
“Well, forget him tonight,” says Gemma, grabbing a vodka bottle from the centre. She clumsily pours a shot and holds it out for me to take.
“Oh, I don’t drink,” I say.
“Because you’re fighting demons or you have allergies?” she asks, her frown deep.
I almost laugh. “I just don’t drink.”
Kasey takes the shot and knocks it back. “Live a little, Rue. A few drinks won’t hurt.” She takes the bottle from Gemma and holds it to my lips.
The spirit fills my mouth and I almost gag before swallowing it down and wincing. “That’s gross,” I cry, coughing and trying to wipe my tongue with my fingers.
The women laugh, and eventually, I do too. It feels nice, so I take the bottle and down another mouthful. “In for a penny,” I say, and they laugh again.
Anita
The laughter from around the firepit grows louder. The old ladies are getting rowdy, their drunken laughter ringing out inthe quiet of the evening air. I glance their way, watching the way Rue seems to have slotted right in.
Tessa nudges me gently with her shoulder. “She’s actually really nice,” she says. I hum in response. “I mean it. A little quiet. Shy, even. But she’s warming to us.”
“The perfect fit,” I murmur. Bitterness scratches at my throat before I can swallow it down.
Tessa tilts her head. “What happened with you and Atlas?” she asks, voice soft but probing. “Kasey said you two almost slept together?”
My groan is instinctive, and I drop my head into my hands like I can hide from it. From me.
“I’m a cow,” I say bluntly. “I tried it on with him. And the second he hesitated, I mean thesecond, I practically started stripping. If Tom hadn’t shown up . . .” I let the rest hang. We both know how it would’ve ended.
Tessa’s eyes go wide. “Why?”
I think about it then shrug like I didn’t just feel my chest tighten. “Habit?”
She doesn’t speak for a moment, then says, “Rue walked away. He told her everything, and she dumped him.”
I glance towards the far wall. Atlas is sitting there with a bottle of beer dangling from his fingers, his eyes locked on Rue like she’s the only real thing in the world. My stomach twists.
“I know,” I murmur. “I don’t even know why I did it. Jealousy, maybe. Or,” my voice catches, “I just needed to feel wanted, Tess. Since Atlas, it’s like I’ve been freefalling. And I know that wasmychoice. I walked away. But that doesn’t make it any easier.”
Tessa’s quiet for a moment before she says, “You can’t keep reeling him back in, Nita. Not if he’s not your forever.”
I nod, slowly. “The worst part?” I say, voice low. “He regretted it. Instantly. I could see it. He didn’t evenwantme. Not really.He just . . . I don’t know. We’ve always had this thing where we fall back into each other. Like muscle memory. Familiar and stupid.”
“I think Rue made him happy,” Tessa says gently.
“I know,” I whisper. “I shouldn’t have gotten involved.”
“Maybe you could speak to her?” she suggests, cautious but sincere.
I let out a laugh, sharp and humourless, then realise she’s not joking. “Tess. I can’t.”
“Why not? You could explain, tell her it wasn’t about him. Tell her you’re done.”
My mouth opens, then closes. The truth is, I don’t know what I’d even say. Or if Iamdone.
