Page 48 of Atlas
“They’ll approve of Anthony.”
Her words finally make sense and I scoff in disbelief. “So you don’t wanna be with me because they won’t approve.”
She nods. “But it’s not because I don’t love you, Atlas.”
I hold a hand up and she stops talking. “Don’t say another word.”
“But it‘s true.”
“If you loved me, none of that would matter.”
“I will never get him back if I stay with you,” she cries, tears suddenly slipping from the corners of her eyes. “Don’t you think I’ve thought about it, how that would work? Damien would lap it up and use it in court. He’d tell the judge every piece of shit he could find on this club and ensure I never got to see my son again.” Her words sink in as I take a seat on the bed. “He will do anything to stop me having contact, Atlas, and I couldn’t stand to never see my boy again.” I watch her, noting the seriousness in her expression. “He’s my world, and as much as I love you, I can’t choose you.”
My heart cracks a little, and I hold out my hand. She takes it, and I tug her closer. “Why didn’t you just tell me everything from the start?” I wrap my arms around her, resting my forehead against her stomach. “We could’ve worked something out together.”
She runs her fingers through my hair, gently grazing my scalp with her nails, and I close my eyes, enjoying the stillness of the moment. “Because you can’t kill him,” she whispers with a hint of humour in her tone.
I grin. “That was a last option.”
“He’s a judge,” she almost whispers. “Anthony. I arranged to bump into him on purpose because I’m hoping he’ll help me with Leo.”
“Does he know your plan?”
She shakes her head. “No, I’ll pretend it’s a coincidence.” She cups my face in her hands and tilts my head back so we’re staring into one another’s eyes. “I love you so much,” she whispers. “And I knew I could never keep you, so I tried to keep you at arms-length . . . and now, seeing the way you look at her,” she takes a shuddering breath, “I realise exactly what I’m giving up.”
I allow myself to get caught up, the words soothing the ache I’ve felt for so long. And when she lowers, bringing her lips closer, I don’t pull away like I should. When she crawls onto my lap, placing her legs either side of mine and wrapping her arms around my neck, I kiss her. It’s hungry and heated, like we’ve both been starved of the moment for too long. Her fingers are in my hair, and my hands are around her waist. She’s rubbing against me, knowing exactly how to get me hard.
And then I think about Rue. Her innocent eyes, the way I just promised her I was done with this, with Anita. And here I am again, lost to her.Fuck.
I pull back, panting for breath, and I lift her from me. “No,” I say, shaking my head. “I can’t.”
She runs her fingers through her hair and wipes her mouth on the back of her hand. “Right,” she mutters, the pain etched on her face. “Of course.”
She pushes to her feet. “It’s not that I don’t want to,” I admit. “But if I keep doing this dance with you, I’ll be the one hurting. Your situation won’t change. I’m always gonna be the biker you can’t take home to meet the family.”
She heads for the door, looking defeated. “And Anita . . .” She looks back. “Can we keep this between us? If Rue was to find out—”
“You should be honest, Atlas. Nothing good ever came from lies.”
“So,” says Kasey, leaning against the bonnet I currently have my head under, “what happened with you and my sister last night?”
I give her a sideways glance. “Huh?”
“Well, one minute, she was happy, and the next, she was leaving.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” I go back to tightening the bolts and thinking about Rue. She was fine when she left but refused to let me walk her home or even arrange a cab. But she insisted she was okay, that she understood the Anita shit. I groan, throwing my spanner back into the toolbox. “Has she said anything to you?”
Kasey gives a satisfied smile. “So, you did upset her?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Your face did.” She crosses her arms over her chest. “It was the posh bird, right?”
“Her name is Anita,” I snap, wiping my hands on a rag. “And I didn’t know she’d be there yesterday.”
She shrugs. “It’s not like you and Rue are together. I don’t think she’ll be upset over it. She’s not the jealous type.”
“No?” I ask, unable to hide the hope in my tone.
