Page 88 of Atlas
Tessa gives methatlook, the one that says she sees more than I want her to, and nudges my arm again, this time firmer.
“You owe her that much,” she says gently.
I swallow hard and nod, even though every part of me wants to walk in the opposite direction. But I rise, smoothing down my skirt like that’ll help, and start heading towards the fire pit.
Rue’s on the far side, perched on the edge of a seat with her knees tucked together and her fingers wrapped around a glass. She looks like she’s trying to disappear, but there’s a quiet strength in her stillness. Atlas is still watching her. I don’t think she’s even noticed.
She looks up as I approach.
Her expression doesn’t shift. Not surprised, not polite . . . just neutral.
“Hey,” I say, my voice quieter than I intended.
She doesn’t answer, but she doesn’t walk away either. I take it as a sign and sit down slowly, leaving space between us.
“I’m not good at this,” I admit. She sips her drink, eyes fixed forward, but she remains silent. “I didn’t come to excuse myself. I just . . . I wanted to say I’m sorry.”
She still doesn’t glance my way, but then asks, “Sorry for kissing him, or sorry I found out?”
I sigh. “Both. But mostly for hurting you. You didn’t deserve that.”
She turns her head now, eyes finally meeting mine. There’s a flicker of emotion, not rage, not hate, just quiet disappointment.
I press on. “It wasn’t abouthim, not really. Not in the way you think. I didn’t try to take him from you. I just, I was lonely, and stupid, and hurting. I needed to feel like someone still saw me.”
“That’s not a reason,” she says. “That’s an excuse.”
I nod, because she’s right. “Yeah. It is.”
She lets out a long breath, then finally sets her drink down. “Did you sleep with him?”
“No. Tom walked in before we . . . before it got that far.”
She nods once. “So, you would’ve done it if you weren’t interrupted?”
I wince, glancing to where Atlas is sitting and noticing he’s rigid now, his eyes burning into me. “Maybe.”
“Maybe, or yes?” she demands, and I realise she’s not the shy, quiet nerd I thought, but she’s got a fire inside of her, especially for Atlas.
“Whatever we had, it’s done.”
“Funny, he said the same.”
“Exactly, because it’s true.”
“It doesn’t matter now, the damage is done. I’m not sticking around so he can hurt me over and over.”
My heart twists. “Atlas isn’t like that,” I say with sincerity. “I know it must seem like that to you, but he’s the most genuine and honest guy you’ll ever meet. And he messed up, we both did, but you have to understand, there’s a history there for us.”
“I don’t have to understand,” she snaps. “I don’t care.”
“If you walk away over this, you’re making a huge mistake.”
She scoffs. “Tell me, why didn’t you two work out? If he’s so great, why aren’t you with him?”
“It’s complicated.”
She pushes to her feet, wobbling unsteadily. “You love him, and he loves you. Stop trying to kid yourselves and just get back together.” She stomps off towards the clubhouse.
