Page 80 of Heartfelt Pain
“Messing around with Roman Zimin again?” His voice is low, but the words are hard. “What’s going on, Ren?”
I rub my left eye. “I. . .”
“Are you two sleeping together again?”
My eyes start pricking with tears again.
“And you wonder why we’re worried about you?” His words are so bitter they burn into me.
“I’m fine.”
“There’s a serial killer after you,”—Ben ticks off, using his fingers to count—“you take on ten plus meetings a day, you don’t drink enough water.”
“Why is everyone so fucking concerned about the water?”
He holds another finger up. “And now you’re fucking the guy who broke your heart five years ago.”
There’s a poignant pause.
I rub my eye again, dragging my hand across my sensitive skin. The knots in my shoulders are killing me and my wet hair makes me shiver. “If it makes you feel any better I just threw him out.”
“Oh, okay.”
I hold my hands out wide, shrugging. “I don’t know what people want from me. I like working. It’s not that big of a deal. We hired Trevino. We’ve got everyone looking for the serial killer. I’m shit with men, fine, okay.”
The last two words puncture the air. I’m so frustrated and tired because while my love life could admittedly use some work, yesterday I didn’t realize all my friends thought my life sucked.
Ben pinches the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, all right.” He turns toward the door. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Do you hate working with me?”
I can deal with Abe and Russ lecturing me, but if Ben thinks I’m dragging him down then there’s a real problem.
There’s a shake of his head. But he doesn’t quite meet my eye.
“I never tried to be your boss. You’re a lawyer, you’re a lot smarter than me.” I toy with a stray thread on my sleeve. I pull it tight around my finger. “I know I need your help a lot, but if you’re not happy, I don’t want to hold you back.”
“I can’t help you,” he says with the voice of a big brother, “if you can’t help yourself.”
My chest cracks, a burning sensation fizzling through it. “What does that mean?”
“It’s means I think you’re the strongest person in the entire world but sometimes you do the stupidest things.”
I bite down on the inside of my mouth, knowing my face is crumbling.
“You trust no one in the business,” Ben says. “You don’t even trust me to take on the occasional meeting for you.”
“That’s not?—”
“But you trust Roman Zimin with your heart.”
It’s a low blow.
“The last time the business had growing pains, he was part of the problem.”
“He’s not part of the problem.” Thank God, Abe and Russet’s intervention didn’t include a conversation regarding my love life.
“I find you crying in your living room as he’s leaving. I’m thinking he’s a part of the problem.”
